April Fool's Day story round-up

April Fool's Day story round-up
By Duncan Hooper
BST 01/04/2008

British newspapers have continued the tradition of inserting spoof stories into their pages to mark April Fool's Day. This year, readers were faced with a plethora of improbable tales, but some sounded more believable than others...

The stories that had us guessing

Top 10 April Fool's Day links:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/04/01/napril301.xml

Have your say: What are your favourite April Fool's Day stories?

Gordon Brown recruits Carla Bruni as a style guru

The Prime Minister has appointed France's first lady to help overcome Britain's inferiority complex with regard to continental Europe, according to the Guardian.

Miss Bruni will relocate to London for three months as part of the agreement and may adapt a Dior fashion range for Marks and Spencer with the addition of features such as zip-up pockets, mobile phone holders and roomier waistlines.

"I want a Britain, now and in the future, where good taste and sophistication are the birthright of the many, not the privilege of an elite, whether in fashion, in food and drink, or in cultural pursuits," Brown will say when he makes the announcements.
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Sarkozy to be stretched

Meanwhile the French president himself hopes to overcome his short stature with a height increasing operation.

Despite the high risks from the operation, Mr Sarkozy is convinced that it is essential to allow him to see eye to eye with his wife, according to the Sun.

The operation, which will add five inches to Mr Sarkozy, will be performed at the Poisson D'Avril medical centre in Geneva next year.
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James Bond should be bisexual, says Daniel Craig

The 007 actor wants to modernise the image of Ian Fleming's creation by introducing Bond guys to the plots.

"I think in this day and age fans would have accepted it. No-one blinks an eye," Craig, who won over gay fans with his role in Casino Royale, told the Daily Star.
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Dog racing on ice at Wembley

In a brave move to increase the popularity of greyhound racing, punters in Britain will be able to watch Dogs on Ice, the Daily Mirror reports.

The first "meeting" will be a one-off race at Wembley Arena in July, the newspaper claims.

The competing dogs will have to wear special non-slip shoes in order to minimise accidents.
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Alistair Darling takes a gamble

While Britons battle with the growing credit crunch, The Daily Mail can reveal that our Chancellor is busy frittering away his cash on scratch cards.

Yes, Mr Darling, guardian of the country's purse-strings, is a secret lottery addict.

The Mail speculates that the 54-year-old's penchant for gambling could be "a sign of how difficult he is finding it to get to grips with the economy". So far, it claims, he has won £10.
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Gordon Ramsay vetos the f-word

It is a plan that will have diners choking on their oven-roasted Bresse pigeon, says the Independent.

Chef Gordon Ramsay, notorious for his love of expletives, is to ban swearing in his restaurants. The move apparently follows the Australian government's rejection of an application by Ramsay to open his first restaurant in the country on the grounds of "decency".

The plan will fine diners effing and blinding in public £5 per naughty word. Assistant chefs uttering a forbidden phrase will face "a disciplinary one-on-one exercise session with Ramsay".
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Google and Virgin to launch Mars mission

The joint venture - to be called "Virgle" - was announced by Sir Richard Branson on the official Google blog.

"In the years to come, we'll be sending up a series of spaceships carrying (along with the supplies and tools needed to build the new colony) what eventually will be hundreds of Mars colonists, or Virgle Pioneers -- myself among them," he wrote.

You can find out more, and sign up for the project, here.
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Elsewhere, the Daily Express reported concern over plans to replace Big Ben's traditional clock faces with a digital time display.