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Sun 30 Mar, 2008 09:50 pm
A friend of mine has been telling me about her boss. It seems that he expects his employees to address him as Mr. ______, but feels free to address the employees by their first name. I suppose he thinks that his employees owe him this sign of respect. But shouldn't that work both ways?
I won't get into some of the other things my friend has told me about him, like the fact that he expects the female receptionist to bring him his coffee every morning - let's just say that he sounds kind of old-fashioned.
I guess that's not the worst thing in the world, but it makes me wonder: How would you feel about having to address your employer as Mr. or Mrs. or Miss?
In my opinion, that may have been proper office etiquette many years ago, but I think it's outdated now. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for people having manners and being respectful of each other -- but I don't think you get respect from other people by insisting that they address you a certain way.
Someone can call you Mr. or Ms. _____ and have no respect for you whatsoever. Or they can call you by your first name, and have tons of respect for you.
My favorite boss of all time was very respected in his field. In fact, he was a pioneer in his field (retirement benefits). He was even invited to the White House back in the day by President Ford to help draft legislation about retirement benefits.
And yet, we called him by his first name, and I don't think he would have had it any other way. In fact, I think I actually had more respect for him because of that. There's a lot to be said for being down to earth, even though you are successful. (He got his own coffee too!)
So what do you think? Is my friend's boss outdated? Or do you think he's right?
Discuss.
In the '50s, my mother worked private duty as an RN. Several patients wanted her first name, and she always declined. In her opinion, that was the way servants were addressed by the rich. She was a professional, not a servant.
Quote:No, he's just arrogent.
Quote:In her opinion, that was the way servants were addressed by the rich. She was a professional, not a servant.
Exactly! There's something about one person insisting that this sign of respect should be given to them, but not extending it to the other person that just seems to reek of "master-servant" to me.
I hate being called "Mr". It's very impersonal and unfriendly. And I don't appreciate calling anyone I work for or with "Mr" either. Instead of "Mr" there are a few other choice words I'd be tempted to call that guy!
Well, he signs their paycheck, so they have no choice. If it were me,
I'd address him with "Master xxxx" - he probably would like that and
not realize that he's being made fun of at the same time.
it would be acceptable if the boss addressed his own boss as "Mr." or if he's his own boss, ie. owns the business, but otherwise it's hypocritical.
The man who pays the piper calls the tune.
Quote:And I don't appreciate calling anyone I work for or with "Mr" either. Instead of "Mr" there are a few other choice words I'd be tempted to call that guy!
Heh. Me too, Nick. I think it's a silly bit of elitism....which is why it's fallen by the wayside in 99% of offices today.
Quote:If it were me, I'd address him with "Master xxxx" - he probably would like that and not realize that he's being made fun of at the same time.
I like the way you think, CJ!
NickFun wrote:I hate being called "Mr". It's very impersonal and unfriendly. And I don't appreciate calling anyone I work for or with "Mr" either. Instead of "Mr" there are a few other choice words I'd be tempted to call that guy!
WARNING - THREAD DIGRESSION:
Nickfun! Good to see you again! You must have been busy.
To me it would depend on the relationship I had with my boss. If I had day to day contact where you discuss some personal aspects of your life and need to discuss work related things frequently, it would feel odd/too formal. However, if it were a situation where you did not talk directly day to day and it was a more formal relationship, I wouldn't care - age could also come into play. If the boss was 60 and I was 20, 30 or even in my 40s, it wouldn't seem so odd. For example, when I was in my teens in a part time job, it would feel completely natural to call my boss Mr. or Ms. unless they expressed otherwise. The position and age to me would be a factor. For example, the head of my company, I would call Mr. I would not feel comfortable about calling him by his first name.
It could simply be his tradition. I wouldn't take offense - sounds like he set up the parameters of his expectations up front. If some one doesn't like them, they are free to leave.
I did one time, however, not address a co-worker who turned out later to be my direct boss, by they way she requested. She had been called Katie for ever. Then decided one day that it wasn't professional so she asked people to call her Katherine. I refused and kept referring to her as Katie. I guess changing expectations is much harder to get compliance than setting them up one way in the first place.
Mame wrote:NickFun wrote:I hate being called "Mr". It's very impersonal and unfriendly. And I don't appreciate calling anyone I work for or with "Mr" either. Instead of "Mr" there are a few other choice words I'd be tempted to call that guy!
WARNING - THREAD DIGRESSION:
Nickfun! Good to see you again! You must have been busy.
As you see, I am popping in and out Mame! But great to see you too!
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