Re: Your finger is not a penis
Primotivo wrote: He said that a week ago while he was making out with her, he brushed a precum stain on his pants and then fingered his girlfriend on her bed with that hand. He now thinks that he might have gotten her pregnant from that.
Yeah, you think that's crazy now, but just wait until the day your girlfriend tells you she's "late," you confirm the pregnancy, and several months later, after you've dismissed your dreams and ambitions to do the honorable thing and dedicate yourself to supporting your incipient "little one," you see, via ultrasound, a fetal blob of flesh with what appears to be a motherf---ing
fingernail for a face, gestating in your girlfriend's womb.
Fast-forward several more months. You and your girlfriend--now the only family you have since your mother, father, and siblings refuse to speak the progenitor of such a freak--take turns rocking your grotesque fingerbaby, who wails uncontrollably because of a mysterious and rather large papercut across its torso, which is ribbed with lines
identical to those on your right middle knuckle. Essentailly good people, you want to be caring parents, but you're exhausted and, worse, repulsed.
And before your fingerbaby's first birthday, hopeful discussions of cosmetic surgery, therapy, and some kind of "special school" far off in the countryside are no more. The child, whom you have dubbed "It," has been permanently transplanted from the nursery to a dark room in the basement, where it will exist until hopefully it dies, of some congenital complication, before you do, and where it can only haunt you in dreams.
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