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Can someone help me with the punctuation on my essay?

 
 
CherryB
 
Reply Mon 3 Mar, 2008 09:11 pm
I've been working on my punctuation and grammar, but I still need help.
Any suggestions, comments, or corrections are greatly appreciated. Anyone have an idea for a good title?

----Cherry


Symbolic of their position in time Rosie the Riveter and the Repose are two examples of art representing the opposite extremes of feminine expression. Although the objectives of their creators were as unique as their themes, a richness of contrast exists between the two works. A side by side examination illuminates three visional differences in the social, physical, and financial situation of the women portrayed in these paintings.

Both characters are comparable in the fact their types have existed throughout history. Rosie is a laborer from birth she knows what it is like to follow a plow, chop wood, or languish in a sweetshop. The artist chose the image of Rosie for this very reason as a recruitment tool for the working class woman. However, the lady in Repose was born to a life of relative ease. Her social standing is evidenced by her dress and surroundings. The fact that she chose to nap in a sitting position is further evidence of her regard for social proprieties. The differences in social standing are further reviled by the mood of refined respectability emanating from the Repose portrait compared to the raw strength of Rosie's character.

Physical appearance plays a major roll in the Repose and Rosie works of art. Rosie projects an iron will and determination in her facial expression. This, alone with her clinched fist answers any questions as to her ability to get the job done. The defiant look in her eye sends a message to all that she in no submissive powder puff. Even her hair conveys the message of confidence. However, in the Repose picture the lady's facial expression shows a composure and satisfaction with her inner-self. She possesses softness in her physical appearance and there is no hint of aggression in the shape of her eyes. Her hair is full and long in keeping with a day of leisure. The ambitions portrayed in the physical appearances of the two ladies when compared are diametrically opposed to each other; which leads us to our final reflection.

Money is not everything, however if you like eating, it sure comes in handy. Rosie must work or do without. Se spends her money wisely on items that are necessary to her physical needs. With Rosie money is obviously valued for survival, and not a piece of paper used simply for enjoyment. In contrast the lady of Repose has sufficient wealth to maintain her social position. To the lady of leisure money is no object, it only exists to fulfill her every whim and to reveal her status in society. The distinction between these two ladies and the way they apply and view their financial situation is totally inequitable.

Upon scrutinizing these two paintings we can safely come to a conclusion that although both women contradict each other in appearance to an outstanding degree they also reveal a difference in three other aspects in their social, physical, and financial situations. Yet Rosie the Riveter and the lady in the Repose both appear satisfied with their positions in life. Very Happy
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contrex
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Mar, 2008 01:12 am
Just at a first glance, you need to change

"reviled" to "revealed" in the last sentence of the second paragraph.

"roll" to "role" in the first sentence of the third paragraph.

I will try to make suggestions about the grammar & punctuation later.

I think you should decide whether they are "ladies" or "women" and stick to that throughout the piece, and I think it should be "women". "Ladies" is a genteel affectation.
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Wy
 
  1  
Reply Fri 7 Mar, 2008 03:15 pm
"in a sweetshop" should probably be "in a sweatshop" (a facility where workers are treated like slaves), and "she in no submissive powder puff" should be "is" instead of "in". Also fix "Se spends her" in the fourth paragraph.

Also, Rosie the Riveter was not a "laborer from birth". She is one of thousands of housewives, many of whom had never worked outside the home before, who did factory and manufacturing jobs -- unheard of for women at that time -- during World War II, when the men were away fighting in Europe and Asia. Women like Rosie produced planes, tanks, and other military equipment, and were significant in keeping the United States' economy, as well as its Army and Navy well supplied and equipped. Rosie's rather grim expression is showing the strength and determination of America to do whatever needs to be done to defeat the enemy and bring the war to a close.
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