married having affair with another married man

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When we met I felt trapped in a marriage where I had 2 younger children and a husband wit very strong needissues along with being bipolar. The man I met was in amarriage with 2 children noncommunicative with his wife and she had no desire for sex with him. we met became intimate fell in love.
His reason for not leaving his wife is that his marriage is tolerable- they don't fight worked together with the children and feels a divorce would be devastating to his son (9) and his daughter 17.
I on the other hand feel I need to divorce for the mental well being of myself and children.
He says he can't promise me that we will be together when his children graduate. Am I being a fool.
I don't condone what i've done I was just so unhappy and felt trapped i fell in love and now it hurts to think of my life without my "friend"

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I think you should get a divorce and then find a man who is available. Obviously, it's not going to be this guy. Believe me, you'll get over him.

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You gotta get what you need from someplace. However, is there any reasonable prospect that you will be able to get what you need from either your husband or your lover going forward? If not you need a plan C.

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Re: married having affair with another married man

jean218 wrote:

I on the other hand feel I need to divorce for the mental well being of myself and children.

Your decision to divorce or stay married should be based on this one point, not whether there's a warm body waiting in the wings.

jean218 wrote:

He says he can't promise me that we will be together when his children graduate. Am I being a fool.

Fool isn't the word that came to mind, but I don't think your future with this man looks very rosy.

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Dont think that youd fool your husband for long. Waiting to make a divorse "go, or no go" decision while having an affair leaves you open to detection and severe penalties.

The very act that youre posting here means that you really wanta be found out. Well do you?

Are you only planning on going on A2k while at work?

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[quote="farmerman"]The very act that youre posting here means that you really wanta be found out. Well do you?
[/quote]

That does not make sense to me!

However, I agree with the posts above!
Get a divorce for yourself and your children.

Get a life for the three of you!
Only then start looking for a person to share this life with!

I don't agree with cheating on ones partner AT ALL, but I like the fact that your lover is at least VERY honest with you!
Don't read more into his words that what he is telling you!

HE WILL NOT LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR YOU!

Accept it and start concentrating on YOUR life!

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Re: married having affair with another married man

jean218 wrote:

When we met I felt trapped in a marriage where I had 2 younger children and a husband wit very strong needissues along with being bipolar. The man I met was in amarriage with 2 children noncommunicative with his wife and she had no desire for sex with him. we met became intimate fell in love.
His reason for not leaving his wife is that his marriage is tolerable- they don't fight worked together with the children and feels a divorce would be devastating to his son (9) and his daughter 17.
I on the other hand feel I need to divorce for the mental well being of myself and children.
He says he can't promise me that we will be together when his children graduate. Am I being a fool.
I don't condone what i've done I was just so unhappy and felt trapped i fell in love and now it hurts to think of my life without my "friend"

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married having affair with another married man

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