@Lightwizard,
Can we not get a podium in here with some spotlights so that LW can have a position in our midst that more befits his station?
I've seen it happen many times. When the people in the immediate vicinity of those who use every conversation as a means of reflecting glory upon themselves get pissed off with it, as they do, they, the trumpet voluntaries, often relocate in order to find a fresh lot of saps to do it to all over again. A new location also enables them to refine their spiel because in any fresh neighbourhood there are no witnesses to the earlier events and thus great scope for invention exists. There's a word for it in the military where people are coming and going all the time but I can't just recall it at the moment. It rhymes with dullknitting.
I have no room on my coffee table for books. What with my company accounts and my investment portfolio and my choice of three candies, Jelly Babies, Pontrefact Cakes and Cadbury's Eclairs, and my Golden Virginia tobacco pouch with the necessary accsessories, and my chocolate digestive biscuits and some notes for a literary experiment I am working on, and the photograph of the only lass I ever loved taken in her prime, which was something to behold I can tell you, and my onyx ashtray which I swapped for a pack of Chesterfield's with a tribesman and a plastic fossil relipca, finished in dunge brown, of a 699,746,269 year old sabre toothed tiger's jawbone thought to be, by leading scientists, part of the missing link between an amoeba and a hippopotamous, which I keep to maintain a modicum of focus, and my table mat, on which there is always a drink at hand, and my remote controls with which I watch the world over the horizon and the space on which I place my feet----what with that lot and my antique coffee table only being 6 feet long there is no room to display any of those large glossy books with the coloured diagrams and easy to follow explanations with which to impress my visitors with my breadth of knowledge and profound erudition.
I wouldn't want to impress them anyway. They are all wankers and W.C said to never smarten up a chump and if I did they would only seek my advice on matters of importance such as which way to vote on propositions placed before the electorate.
The only advice I have is to keep a clean head and always carry a lightbulb. I might advise to not arrange meets with LW unless you like hagiographic life stories on a loop tape.