Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Texan?

Here is a little test that will help you find out if you are a Republican, a Democrat, or a Texan. Just pick which answer most closely mirrors your likely response to the following situation:You're walking down a deserted street with your family. Suddenly, an man in black, wearing a kefir and carrying a huge knife comes around the corner. He locks eyes with you, screams "Alahu Akbar!" and "Death to the Infidels", and brandishes the knife wildly as he runs toward your children. You are carrying a Glock 40-caliber semi-automatic pistol.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


Democrat's Answer:

Damn George Bush! If only he tried to TALK to these poor, oppressed people. The man looks poor! He must be REALLY oppressed! Now, let me see… Have I ever done anything to him that would cause him to attack?

I wonder if we should run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Maybe we should call a family meeting to discuss this. What does the law say about this situation? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Does he definitely want to kill us, or does he just want to send a message? Can I call 9-1-1? He must have had an unhappy childhood… What can I do to understand his behavior, to relate to his concerns?

.

.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

.

.

Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click!

….. (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Daughter: "Nice grouping Daddy! Were those the Winchester SilverTips or the Federal Hollow Points?"

Son: "Can I shoot the next one?!"

Wife: "No, you are NOT taking that to the taxidermist!"