Ok, he did get the email, because I asked. My daughter had a good excuse, she had failed her driver's test that morning and was distracted. My son is always distracted.
I admit that I should have had a better method of setting the rules and making sure they are followed through.
I think it might be handy if you forgot to make a meal for your children one or 2 evenings a week for the next month Marty.
Also forgetting to do the laundry or other household chores that you could possibly put up with not being done that directly affect your kids.
Make a promise to take your kids out for something (meal coffee icecream) then forget you promised.
Now, this bit below is the most important part of this post.
Notes on bedroom doors or fridges or any damned where else will have very little effect unless they are backed up with consequences.
What consequences did your children suggest should be appropriate for people that don't pull their weight?
consequence marty. Action and consequence. Negetive action = negative consequence. Positve action = positive consequence.
"Thank you" from Mum is a positive consequence.
Just by the way, I really don't think failing a drivers license test is a good excuse.
Life needs to continue regardless.
Also... it's kinda hard to forget one's own dog....it seems to me like they must have known that they are foregoing their duties (or at least some of them)...it's rather unlikely that between the three of them neither of them would remember they were supposed to let the dog out and do some chores....
dunno marty, this seems like a choice has been made on their part...or a combination of forgetting and avoidance....Ex got the email, both kids were told... maybe they knew that there won't be consequences?
just speculating, not knowing your kids of course.
Hers my take.
Ex I dont want my time with the kids shortened by them having to do chores for the bitch (i know you arnt marty) she probably gave them chores just to spite me.
Boy: just forgot to remember as every kid that age does. Chores are not the most pressing thing on a 16 year old boy's mind. Even if he did remember thought processes such as someone else will do it or it doesn't matter that much or I can do it later when I get home give an excuse. Getting picked up at school did not help.
Girl: Yes was distracted by failing her driving test but needs to learn that life can't/wont stop every time something goes wrong.
This kind of thing will continue until they realise there will be consequences. This may not happen until they leave home.
I can appreciate a man's point of view. I just try to be reasonable and compromise when I can. He doesn't get the kids on weeknights until 3:30 and I was telling him he could have them earlier as long as they finished a few chores.
How old are your kids? I'm not sure exactly how I would handle the situation but The site ParentsConnect has some great articles on dealing with Children and Chores or you could ask an expert on the site for advice for your specific situation: Edit [Moderator]: Link removed
But it also sounds like you might be overwhelmed with responsibility and aren't getting any help .. try playing the Instant Win Game on the site just to see if you win something to brighten up the day. And I think winning the Cleaning Service for Day would probably help alot too!!
Edit [Moderator]: Link removed
Thanks for that. I realize that there is a large percent of single mom's out there. It is overwhelming to keep up with a house and everything that goes with it and raise kids.
I just recently had my kitchen updated and when the contractors pulled up the old floor they found water and termites. So I just had the stress of paying out a lot of money for home repairs too.
Oh Wow that sounds horrible!! You're having a rough time lately huh!?
Maybe you should try to win the Day at the Spa instead!! :wink:
It's always good to vent though and get ideas from other parents about how they deal with different situations raising kids etc.. This is a good forum but I would also try parenting specific sites like Parents Connect for more in-depth advice.... those type of sites help you really connect with other parents going through the same things (even single ones!) and other related topics such as managing money ....
Maybe you can find some helpful articles with suggestions to email to your ex :wink:
