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Fri 25 Jan, 2008 11:02 am
my parents ruined our house when i was 3, divorced, raised me in abject poverty and i've been talking to them about college for years and received no help or advice. i grew up totally alone, i sacrificed everything i had thinking we were supposed to be family, i forgave them for everything they did thinking it was the right thing to do. but i think i underestimated their idiocy. i've moved over 33 times in 22 years, been to like 17 schools.( isn't that bad for children to move even 4-5 times lol?) and the worst part IS THAT MY DAD DECIDED TO SETTLE DOWN IN THE WORST SLUM IN LAS VEGAS. jesus christ good game,...( for example, i thought credit card interest was straight up, you pay 17% total interest even if it went over monthly) maybe thats not common knowledge, maybe my parents are idiots i don't fuckin know.
basically, they put 0 effort into raising me. they "tried" a little bit to do nice things for me but they are totally eclipsed by their lack of affection and neglect of me for over 17 years. when i turned 18 they all of a sudden obtained a huge interest in me joining the military. i actually think i might be buddhist, but i dont ******* know i make my own beliefs. w/e im not going to support some suicidal war motivated society. well, my dad bought me a pc and a stereo, my mom rented a skatepark and bght me skateboards. is that supposed to make up for that ****?
i dont care really i just ignore them like i do all people who dont use logic and common sense when speaking to me.
they are separated since i was 3, w/e, it sucked. but all of a sudden i got pissed, i havent gotten angry and yelled at a person since i was like 13. literally. and they got sad, i called them out and they act all sad and ****, then they say "well when your brother died it took alot out of me, "WTF HE WAS MY BROTHER AND HE WAS ALL I HAD, AFTER HE DIED I WAS ALONE, YOU GUYS HAD YOUR DRUGS, DAD YOU HAD YOUR FUCKIN BEER, I HAD A ******* TV FOR LIKE 5 YEARS, FIVE ******* YEARS I WAS RAISED BY A ******* TV.!"
i should be mad, i should not talk to them anymore. i should keep pointing out all the stupid **** (methamphetamine) they did to make sure my childhood didnt even start. its cool with me if they did that **** i forgiver them, but they keep trying to turn things on me, AND IM TRYING TO BE FORGIVING, i cannot stand stupidity, really i cant, usually i ignore them when they stupid **** but i cant anymore.
but i realised they are really really stupid, drugs or just their own bad childhoods , i dont know why they are so dumb.
i asked for some help joining my moms union AND SHE TOLD ME THAT I NEEDED TO LEARN HOW TO DO THINGS ON MY OWN. MY DAD didn't TEACH ME A DAMN THING, i swear to god i've been on my own waiting for assistance my whole life, waiting for a role model maybe? a mentor?
i feel like if i tell them how i really feel, that i will destroy them, if they realise what they actually did to me that i just sucked up and dealt with thinking it wasnt that bad, eating moldy pizza for weeks, not having clothes all those ******* small things .
i think it might be wise for me to sever any and all ties, but i keep thinking that they simply dont understand what i went thru.
they both had really bad childhoods, but i mean , why have kids if you are on meth and an alcoholic? why have kids when you are flat ******* broke? why blame your kids for your own failures?
another thing, i took my dog out of my grahmas house, she is cool(her daughters arent) but they let my dog outside, numerous times, she got pregnant, blah blah. the house was so dirty my dog contracted a skin disease and her hair fell out and they were feeding her garbage food, like potato chips and ******* candy!!! oh my god oh my god oh my ******* god i should fuckin slap them with a brick
my mom comes over to my house trying to get me to bring my dog back to my grahmas. i walk my dog 3 fuckin hours a day, i feed her the best possible, i give her ******* purified water, i brush her constantly, i weight pull with her, i just started, whatever.(they toss down cheap food into a bowl)
why? wtf? she said i needed my head checked.I need MY head checked? you want me to put my dog back into a house so ******* dirty every time she visits she gets bumps on her skin and patches of her hair fall out.
please tell me im not the one whos being crazy.
i really need to know why my mom would say something so fuycking stupid. i mean i couldnt even speak. i felt like, my dog is all i ******* have, she is more like my daughter. and i just dont understand.
How could she say something like that? is she projecting her fears of me growing up or something? my dad has been ******* with my mind since i was small , its like they tell me opposite from the truth to make me really go crazy.
i want to keep in touch with them, but i mean, come the **** on.
i want to ask if im crazy, but i treat my dog like a ******* princess. in fact my whole family doesnt like me.
is it odd that i am also the only one with a diploma? i mean the only person i like in my family is my step-aunt. notice she has step in front. is it jealousyh maybe? im also starting college in fall, and my cousin is in the military and he isnt in college so could it be jealousy he was like the family pride or whatever.
ok ok this is venting, i even MOVED OUT SO 5 OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS COULD MOVE INTO MY HOUSE, MY DAD LEFT IT TO ME AND I LET THEM TAKE IT INSTEAD, THIS HOUSE IS ONE OF THE BEST IN LAS VEGAS RENTAL DEALS, 625 /MO FRONT AND BACK YARD 3 BEDROOMS. I ALMOST LOST MY DOG FOR THESE FUCKS, and they even charged me for keeping my dog in their house(that i let them take over) while i moved into a temp apartment with 2 other friends for a few months so i could get this house for rent so i can keep my dog happy. (fun times livin there so i can tcomplain)
oh my god, i still clean "their" yard because i cant stand watching their 5 dogs walk around in piles of **** all day, i even cleaned the living room cuz the puppies were in there and i almost rented a fuckin carpet cleaner.
are they using me? im 22 and i am more responsible than my family.
im also the only one of my generation of kids to move out on his own.( out of about 9 and they are all over 20 this year)
why are they persecuting me when all i do is try to succeed?
they have 5 grown adults paying rent that equals 625 a month.
625 divided by 5 and they still have trouble paying rent and bills HOW? HOW DO YOU **** UP SOMETHING SO UTTERLY ******* BOMB? thats like 200 a peice at MINIMUM. theres 5 grown ass adults in this house and they dont do dishes clean the dogshit clean the carpet. ..
i need to stop. obviously im not the one whos retarded. i guess i needed to say it out loud. i really cant believe these motherfuckers.
and all these dumbfucks have never payed rent consistently for over a year straight and they get evicted EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY MOVE INTO A HOUSE, IT FIGURES IT WOULD BE MY HOUSE THAT THEY WOULD HAVE TO TAKE OVER OR END UP ON THE STREET. i wish they didnt have a daughter. i swear to god if they didnt have her i would have left them all out in the ******* street.
wtf ever thats really it lol obviously they are just ******* idiots.
**** i have to forgive them dont i? i ******* have to how ******* lame. im just gonna forgive them again and wait for the next time they want to take advantage of me. yay :/ i hate being wise. i wish i could be irresponsible for once in my life, but i cant.
im the only one who gets **** done.
Venting is good.
Action--like starting college in the fall--is better.
You can break the chain.
Look at it this way, Ogionik: they have not succeeded in making you
as dysfunctional as they are, even though they tried hard.
You got the short stick while growing up, but now you're reaching for
the long stick. Go to college, get a decent education and enjoy life.
That's the best revenge you ever can give them!
If you need to vent, go ahead, but don't lose count of your goals and
your future. You can make your parent responsible for your lousy
childhood, but ultimately you're responsible for your life - make it good!
Noddy's right. Venting is good. This is a pretty safe place to do it. Do you live alone? I haven't been keeping up.
Quote:i think it might be wise for me to sever any and all ties
I think this might be a good thiing,
Thanks mum and dad for any of the good things you did. now its time for me to do it my way.
Move cities if you can.
CalamityJane wrote:Look at it this way, Ogionik: they have not succeeded in making you
as dysfunctional as they are, even though they tried hard.
You got the short stick while growing up, but now you're reaching for
the long stick. Go to college, get a decent education and enjoy life.
That's the best revenge you ever can give them!
If you need to vent, go ahead, but don't lose count of your goals and
your future. You can make your parent responsible for your lousy
childhood, but ultimately you're responsible for your life - make it good!
meth is really horrible. i swear to god i win for not ever trying it once. its like its freakin everywhere. is sad.but i just realised everyone who does meth is someone who does dumb **** every day and they are the ones who ruin everything. its really more like a disease .
Well , , , for sure THEY are nuts - now what's your excuse?
Really . . . . read over your post!!
Sorry, but you are getting to the age where no one cares how badly you were treated at 3
Now, YOU are totally responsible for what you do and say. You are of legal age now. No more using THEM as an excuse for what YOU are today.
Like I said, for sure they are nuts. Why do you stay around, trying to make sanity of it all?
Time to flee that crazy nest.
You certainly aren't crazy.
I know that feeling - everything crazy around you, so hard to understand, there really is no way to understand it sometimes - and you start to wonder if maybe they are right.
Well, they aren't. And you are not retarded, nor crazy.
There are a lot of things you have to be proud of. You did it. Yourself. Others can't take it away now, unless you let them.
So don't let them. Keep venting. Keep getting as many voices as you can. Listen to the ones who help keep you strong.
You know it already. I think you are right.
Meth, alcoholism - yes, it's disease. I know! It can feel like your heart is beng torn out of your body. Having to watch people you love destroy themselves, take others with them.
So don't let them. Don't watch.
How is your dog?
Research shows that adult children of alcohol/drug users survived by:
distancing themselves from their families.
learning to detach with love
getting therapy and/or support group
not using drugs or alcohol - at all!
Mail what you wrote here to your parents and then get the heck out of the area. Take your dog and just go. You are not responsible for your parents.
You can be successful in life even though you were raised in a dysfunctional home. Most of us have not had perfect childhoods. Just remember it's THEIR problem, not YOURS.
If you're worried about neglect of your sister (I think you said she was still living with your parents?) call child protective services. If there are drugs/alcohol going on your sister will be better off elsewhere.
Remove the pups and any dogs from your parents house. Call the local animal shelter and ask if they are a 'no-kill' type. There are people who will foster pets until they get a good home too. Local vets should know something about that; give them a call. What a kind person you are to care about those animals.
It's good that you can express how you're feeling here. You are understandably angry, but keep the anger in perspective. It's counterproductive if you lash out but do nothing. Take a positive step away from the situation, refuse to clean your parents house - distance yourself from them as much as you can. They may clean up their act some day but you don't have to hang around like a punching bag until they do.
Don't lose sight of your goal of some type of vocational training or college. You CAN do it. You are a caring, intelligent person, you deserve to have a happy life, and you can make it happen.
You are letting your parents use you, because of your kind nature which they are aware of. It's enabling them in a way, because they know you'll help them out. Just STOP.
Most people have the key to get out of their own prison.
Good luck and keep us posted, ok?
As the cliches go:
You have to start somewhere.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
You can't pick your parents, but you can choose your future.
my dog is fine her hair grew back lol. but for real man, i was tryin to talk to my mom(iom on my own btw but i help my grahma so i cant ever leave, noone else does anything around her house !)
but i mean, my moms pupils were dilated and shes was just twitching and **** and i just wanted to ask if she relapsed but i already knew. its fuckin lame.(chances of her being overdosed on caffeine? i wish thats what it was)
i think my cousin(hes my best friend in the world) is on it, my mom and his mom do the same **** together back in the day, i thought everything was all good.
hopefully he isnt doing it, and it is the diet pills hes taking. but i mean without family you dont have any support. your just on your own in a society where you need a solid foundation to get started.
but you guys dont understand if my cousin is on meth too its over, all i have left is my dog.
i got them to get rid of their cats, and the last 3 dogs they had so everything might get more normal and less filthy, especially with me cleaning ****, noone else is gonna do it and i yet again have to take care of this **** .
haha thanks for the reality check guys for real its tiring when everything around you is like some badly produced "blow" wannabe movie.
and my grahma will be living with some of the good side of my family so hopefully all this fuckin idiocy can be over.
i had a one on one with my gma and she tries to hide it but she knows and shes not gonna let it be in her house anymore. finally , but i mean i could imagine what it feels like to be the parent of a drug addict.
btw my dads fine nowdays, my bro died and he changed but he still. hes just dumb with or without drugs but i love the dumbass.
my mom goes through phases or someshit. off on off on wtf stop !
aight im done i just need to quit worrying about other peoples actions but its hard, family..
omg thats why she wanted me to bring the dog back, BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD 5 OF THEM, I WAS THE ONLY ONE CLEANING THE DOGSHIT UP.
hahahaha..
thats hilarious. because i came over yesterday actually and it was so bad back there i cleaned it again.
a hbouse full of grown ass motherfuckers and they cant vacuum or clean, i mean its like..'
lol **** this. im gonna focus on something positive for a change
Ogionik--
Quote:im gonna focus on something positive for a change
Your disfunctional family might mess up their lives and your house.
Don't let them mess with your head.
Hold your dominion.
OGIONIK wrote:omg thats why she wanted me to bring the dog back, BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD 5 OF THEM, I WAS THE ONLY ONE CLEANING THE DOGSHIT UP.
hahahaha..
thats hilarious. because i came over yesterday actually and it was so bad back there i cleaned it again.
a hbouse full of grown ass **** and they cant vacuum or clean, i mean its like..'
lol **** this. im gonna focus on something positive for a change
You're welcome. Think I'll go & waste my time elsewhere, too. Somewhere positive.........
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