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Sat 19 Jan, 2008 11:58 pm
ok. im in a situation here. hopefully i won't get any comments in here that are to bad. im a 19 year old female. when i was 17, my softball coach fell in love with me literally!! i told her i didn't care that she was in love with me and that we could still be friends. she thought i was going to flip out on her and never speak to her again but i didn't and that made her fall in love even more. bad thing is she is married. her marriage isn't the greatest thing in the world either. her husband would yell at her for getting the wrong kind of hotdog at the store. they argued all the time. he would make her cry constantly and she would call me. i started to get feelings for her and we were together for a little while. we slept together also. my first kiss ever from anyone was with her. then things started going down hill. her husband found out and he was pissed. he yelled at me once and i don't know what he said to her but she kept pushing me away and i knew why. he was 34 and already had 2 kids from a previous marriage. she was 24. i can understand why she was pushing me away. she said that she wanted to be with me forever and she was going to leave her husband though, she had told me that a million times. i fell for all of this talk and things kept getting worse. he started tapping her phone conversations or thats what he told her he did and he also got a private investigator on me!! he had the guy call my dad for our address. everytime she told me she couldn't talk to me again i begged her not to do that and it didn't have to end this way. she ended up being pregnant and she then i told her well we really have to end this now. but then she told me that she didn't want me to go. she said we could make it work and i told her we can't do that. i agreed with her and we still talked. i was about to leave for bootcamp and we had been talking for almost 6 months straight. i talked to her everyday almost all day for 6 months and one morning i woke up and she stopped talking to me. she cut me off. i went to her job a few times after i got outa bootcamp but in the end i knew i had to let her go. i still wanted to be friends but she said we couldn't do that because her husband was still mad so we stopped talking for good.
it's been almost 2 years. how do i forget my first love?
I sure hope that I'm wrong but this seems not even close to being credible. Anyone else? My apologies in advance if I'm wrong but I Don't think so. Especially because of these last lines: "it's been almost 2 years. how do i forget my first love? "
i really hope you don't think i'm lying on this. Why would i lie about this? i know it sounds really crazy and it was believe me i was going through it all!! i dated another girl after one year. but i am still not over the first. I just don't know how to get her out of my head i guess is what i'm saying.
Sorry, but after reading more of what you write, based upon your other comments on other A2K threads, this just doesn't add up. If I'm wrong, I will admit it and apologize. (You also claim to be a virgin, too. How can you be virgin if you slept with this woman and maybe others?)
First loves aren't meant to be forgotten...though you do stop thinking about them eventually.
Dixieland--
Your softball coach is very lucky that your parents and the school system weren't just as infuriated at her seduction of you as her husband was.
Over is over.
There are three ways to turn a dead romance into a pleasant memory. The most sensible is to refuse to dwell on the past and concentrate on living your life fully in the present.
The second is to repeat your cherished memories over and over and over until they become shopworn and a bit dull.
Obviously for you this was not "simply" a first romance but a love affair that determined your sexual orientation. The third way of bringing the past and present into perspective is to talk with a counsellor who can help you sort things out.
There is certainly nothing wrong with being a lesbian, but swimming out of the mainstream tends to complicate ordinary life.
Good luck.
You never forget- you just learn how to let go.
It shouldn't be so painful and hard- and if it is- that means it's not the right thing or the right time for either of you or both of you. Maybe it will be later on - who knows? Or maybe you'll meet someone else with whom love doesn't feel like you're being hit by a freight train over and over again, and you'll decide that you can live without all the pain and the drama and just treasure your memories or her while you engage in a mutually mature and reciprocal relationship with someone else.
She sounds a little entrenched in her own instability and uncertainty- in terms of her sexuality (what exactly IS her preference?), her relationships, her inability to refrain from getting pregnant and bring any more children into what sounds to be an already chaotic life for the ones she has...
And her lack of judgment in terms of engaging with one of her teenaged softball players is the creme de la creme. She shouldn't have dragged you down or into something like this. And even if you thought it was what you wanted - SHE was the adult and SHE should have known better.
The First Time is . . . . ????
But now is now and you need to look around for another woman.
This infatuation is holding you back from being able to get out there and find another!! You are "stuck"- now unsick yourself.
Why are you hanging on to something that 1) is WAY over and 2) brings you pain???
P.S. When you get older, you will see how you got "used" - but we won't go into that now.
One foot in front of the other - get going . . . .
thank you to you all. and ragman i'm a virgin in a since of not having sex with a man. sorry should have been more clear. its ok if you don't think its true but sadly it is and it was a bitch to go through. but thanks to the other responses.
dixieland10,
things like this do happen atimes.But the unfortunate thing is that it happened with a married woman.That which has happened has happened.If like you said it is some two years now,then i plead wth you to take your mind off her and re-allign your focuss and thoughts on another.
Its all infatuation and you may be fond of each other that does not mean you love her.Dont forget she has a home to manage and a husband to love and respect
Oh . . . . did I miss something here?
Dixieland - are you a female?
Re: why can't i forget her?
Stated in her first line of her initial thread:
dixieland10 wrote:ok. im in a situation here. hopefully i won't get any comments in here that are to bad. im a 19 year old female.
Re: why can't i forget her?
yes, all this happened when i was 17 and i turned 18 in the middle of it. what do you think your missing?
Apparently what Dixie was missing is the time it takes to read your notes.
now im confused about what your saying. sorry. please explain more. sometimes it takes me a few tries.
Ragman wrote:Apparently what Dixie was missing is the time it takes to read your notes.
Sorry for the confusion...my fault...I meant what Sully is missing.
My apology again also. I do believe what you wrote about is true.
ooooo!! haha. yes, i didn't read the name out to the side. haha. sorry ragman
Wow, sorry about that. Huge head cold this week. (That's my excuse for bad reading)
Dixie - you sound conflicted about your sexual orientation. You were taken advantage of at an early age by an adult. That has left scars, in many areas of your development.
Are you seeing a counselor?
Remember - you don't have to be "locked in" to any role just because you had some sexual experiences when you were very young. You need to get this sorted out.
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