Help! Old boyfriend emailed and wants some answers?

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HELP! I have been happily married for a decade now with children but an old boyfriend has emailed me with some questions about why I ended our relationship of five years and then married my now husband within the year of that relationship. Shocked

I don't mind answering those questions but I still think about him from time to time and worry that this may lead to something more. This boyfriend has never married, still single (not seriously dating) and we had a very strong connection when we were together. Is he fishing for something or does he just want to know and go on?
Should I be honest with my husband and tell him that I am emailing him? Should I just let it go and ignore the email, thus denying his quoted desire for "closure"? Any advice greatly appreciated!
confused!

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Let it go. Block his email address.

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I had an ex do the same thing to me. He said he wanted closure about some items and he thanked me because it really helped him understand a couple things. My situation of course is different because he's married now too and I never wondered about him.

It's hard to say what to do, but if you think you can give him some closure without it turning into anything more, then I would say its ok.

If you think this will affect your relationship and wonder the "what if's", definetely don't do it. I weighed all that out when I replied to my ex.

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Or talk to your husband about it and get his opinion.
Do not jeopardize your marriage.

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Curious as to how he got the e-mail address after all this time. Unless, of course, it is ten years old.

Anyhow, you seem to be considering this and that should be a warning to let it go if you value your marriage.

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Intrepid wrote:

Curious as to how he got the e-mail address after all this time. Unless, of course, it is ten years old.

That is a good question, I didn't think about that one but I am pretty sure since we went to college together he got the email addy out of an alumni directory. Thanks for the warning, I need it!

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Un huh. Just block the address. You owe him nothing.

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[quote="hellokittygirl777"]I had an ex do the same thing to me. He said he wanted closure about some items and he thanked me because it really helped him understand a couple things. My situation of course is different because he's married now too and I never wondered about him.

It's hard to say what to do, but if you think you can give him some closure without it turning into anything more, then I would say its ok.

If you think this will affect your relationship and wonder the "what if's", definetely don't do it. I weighed all that out when I replied to my ex.[/quote]

Very interesting approach kitty! Thanks for the advice.

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I think he's fishing, hoping maybe to start something up. I wonder how many of his "old flames" he sent messages to?

I'd ignore it and block the address. Or maybe just write him a note telling him it didn't work out because you didn't love him and still don't. Then block the email and never give it another thought.

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Sweethomenc--

When you broke up did he understand why then?

Is he the sort of person who would be seeing a shrink and probing his past.?

Did he have trouble with drugs or alcohol and be trying to make amends?

What about "NO" doesn't he understand? If he's the cud-chewing sort, he really might want to know. If he's operating from wounded ego, beware.

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Quote:

What about "NO" doesn't he understand? If he's the cud-chewing sort, he really might want to know. If he's operating from wounded ego, beware.

Thats what I'm wondering...wounded ego, but not the wounds from ten years ago. He may think your an easy target to answer his questions about himself he's too blind to figure out on his own.

I'd probably have to block him, and let him figure it all out for himself.

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He sounds fishy and creepy . . . after 10 years!!!??
(Unless he's in therapy . . . )

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Doesn't matter what he's up to or his motivation for contacting you. The question is, what do you want to do about it?

I've ignored all emails and notes from ex-boyfriends. I didn't even bother my husband with them. (although I did save them and giggled with my girlfriend about them. it's a nice ego-stroke) What purpose could being in contact with an ex possibly serve except to cause trouble?

Leave the past in the past. But if you are thinking about opening communication with your ex, I think you should tell your husband and see what he thinks about it. If you have even an inkling that he's not cool with it, drop it. Your old relationship isn't worth upsetting what you have now.

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Re: Help! Old boyfriend emailed and wants some answers?
Why do people get so damn obsessed over what causes another person to break up with them? Who f'n cares? There's somebody hotter, smarter, and a better person who will f**k you. Stop being such a wussy and constantly look for that person.