premature ejaculation

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Good for you to admit you have a problem and to seek advice.

According to Wiki, most men have this problem at some time in their lives:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premature_ejaculation

The Mayo Clinic site covers the problem thoroughly with suggestions for personal therapy.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/premature-ejaculation/DS00578

Good luck.

Noddy has the best advice, like always. I'll just say that I think this is something that is common and that gets better over time. Good luck!

Thanks Noddy, thanks FreeDuck. I don't feel embarrassed, and I know I

will get over this. I just need some help. I'll check the links first.

If you search the web for a decent sexual health sites (difficult considering you'll have to wade through a plethora of porn sites), you'll find useful information on this.

Btw, there are medications that can be taken for the 'problem', but I wouldn't personally go there.

The solution to your problem I think has much the same answer as the methods used to control when you orgasm.

For starters, as you get closer to orgasm, your breathing quickens and shortens....knowing this, you can then take deeper and longer breaths

Fitness plays some part

There are four stages before orgasm : if I remember right, it goes something like "erection/stimulation, plateau, point of no return, orgasm"...if you recognise where the 'point of no return is', you are able to change your style, slow your strokes, deepen your breaths etc

Also, Kegal exercises help with hardness and intensity of orgasm

That's a very, very basic description - find one of those sexual health sites that describe this sort of thing.

Masturbate an hour before your sexual relations so as to desensitize yourself.

Problem solved.

is there an opposite to premature ejaculation?

like, not mature ejaculation where you go for hours sometimes and nothing? no orgasm at all?

am i losing my sex drive already before im 23? or when does that happen lol?

At the risk of a lot of wise cracks (c'mon I'm curious about everything, why not sex?) I'll give my 2 cents.

First of all it's important to understand the "problem". Except in severe cases the bottom line is that the real problem is simply ejaculating before your partner climaxes.

This isn't just a time factor in most cases, as the female orgasm isn't just about time but also greater complexity and except in the most extreme cases "lasting longer" shouldn't be the goal as much as having more control and being able to better work with your partner.

If you are on the extreme end (we are talking seconds, not minutes here) then I don't have a lot of advice (but I think this may change with age) but here is what I think works insofar as control goes (in order of efficiency):

Pace

In a gross simplification, the faster you move the more quickly you ejaculate. So controling pace is a big part and in its extreme is represented by pausing. But there's a lot more to it than that. Holding a steady pace and using the right pace for your partner are the most important things. The female is more sensitive to pace when it comes to being able to reach orgasm so you need to find a pace that both stimulates her while not over stimulating you.

Breathing

This one is the most powerful thing you can do to control your ejaculation.



I'd also like to add that holding your breath (which is an instinct when reaching climax) focuses the sensation.

Controlling your breathing (slow and deep) is key to controlling your sensations (e.g. it's a big part of the Lamaze Technique's method of controlling pain).

Controlling your breathing is a big part of being able to control what you feel, and with more control well, you get it.

Positions

Some positions will cause faster ejaculation than others. For example, "doggy style" is a pretty common one to make it go quickly for the guy and more slowly for the girl.

Each person is different, however, and you need to find what works for you. Sometimes not controlling the movement (e.g. girl on top) will give you more control of your feelings, sometimes it won't.

Find out what are good positions for you and your partner for different goals (her pleasure, your climax etc). Each position has different positives and negatives and understanding them will help you and your partner control your experience.

Clenching

Another option is "clenching". The same action you make to "hold it" when you need to urinate badly has a similar, but different, effect on ejaculation.

"Clenching" before the point of no return puts off the point of no return a bit (you may initially only get a few extra seconds this way). However clenching also forces more blood into the penis, making it harder and more sensitive. So clenching without pausing may cause an immediate ejaculation in some. Having more control over this takes a bit of practice (practicing alone will speed the learning curve).

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Other things that control your arousal levels are your energy levels (when you are tired you have lower arousal levels), refraction period (how recently you ejaculated and how long it takes your body to reach normal arousal levels afterwards), your fitness, and substance use (drugs, smoking alcohol).

But most of all, and I really mean this, relax! Don't over think it. Don't worry about it. I think pressure is a big cause of premature ejaculation.

P.S. The testicles retract to the body close to orgasm. Some people report good results from pulling the scrotum away from the body gently (and there are various "rings" and things for that as well). There are also penis rings that restrict the penis blood flow.

I don't think those are as useful (and the penis ring can be dangerous) as they are unnatural and intrusive (and I imagine are awkward) and really think you can do it all with a better understanding of what positions do what, a better understanding of your partner and the basic pace/breathing/clenching controls and you'll be fine.

Men don't suffer from premature ejaculation. Women do.

Seriously, there's plenty of good help around. Good luck.