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Fri 4 Jan, 2008 01:53 am
Ok...I really hate it when I have to be the one to break a man's heart, but what if their heart refuses to be broken?
When my ex and I first got married is the year that both of us got accepted into the same university. My ex decided that he wanted to join a Fraternity. I was a little skeptical about it but after I got to meet the guys from the fraternity, they were acutally a cool group of guys. We would go out on formal dinners and everyone would bring a date. We got to know some of the other couples very well and started doing lots of things together like going up to the mountains for a weekend snowboarding trip at the cabin. We would go out to formal dinners or dinners hosted by the the fraternity or even poker nights. Us girls would sit and chat and the boys would lose all their money at poker. There was a group of about 6 of us, all couples. One of the couples were married and the guy of that couple was my ex's best friends older brother. The other couple was the best friend of the other couple.
I think I have mentioned him before in another post. Well...I just recently as of this year found out that the other couple (not the couple that is related to my ex's best friends brother)...that the guy of that couple is in love with me. He is supposed to be getting married sometime this year and they have been together for years. This is someone I have known for about three years now and I NEVER knew how he felt about me. I would never do anything with him because, well 1. I was married, and 2. because I like his fiance, I think she's a sweet person. He told me how he felt and I told him I would never cheat. I rarely saw him after that but when I did, he would play footsey with me or try and start up conversation. I kept reminding him he was about to be a married man.
I left my ex in October and somehow he found out. He started texting me saying things like "so I heard you are now available to flirt with me any time you want now." I let it slide and didn't talk to him for a few months. I then started getting text messages from him the other day basically telling me that he was in love with me and has been since the moment he saw me. He told me it killed him inside that I was with my husband. He told me every time he sees me he gets nervous, goes into a sweat, starts studdering, and feels like a "giddy school girl". He said he's going crazy over the thoughts of me and that he feels crazy even talking to me now. He knows he's about to be married but he can't help how he feels about me. He can't get me out of his mind and any time I was around him was pure torture. He said he knew for sure how he felt about me when we got paired up as bridesmaid and groomsman for the other couples wedding. He was my escort and I guess walking down the isle with him before the bride did ultimately did it for him. He says he's completely crazy about me but he would do anything for his fiance, whom I assume he loves.
He's begging me to go out to lunch with him to talk. I keep trying to tell him that he is going to be a married man and that I don't feel the same way but I can't break him. I mean...we are talking blockbuster romantic movie plot here. Guy wants girl but she's married. Guy gets different girl but will always be in love with the first girl. First girl breaks up with husband, but it is too late for our hero because he is with this other girl. How do these stories end usually? In tragedy? Should I get my box of kleenex?
Get your box of kleenex out, until her breaks it off with the fiance there is no resolution.
Besides, if you've reminded him that he's about to be married, has he even mentioned that could be changed?
If the answer is "No", then that is your answer.
Sounds to me that he's playing you......
makemeshiver33 wrote:Get your box of kleenex out, until her breaks it off with the fiance there is no resolution.
Besides, if you've reminded him that he's about to be married, has he even mentioned that could be changed?
If the answer is "No", then that is your answer.
Sounds to me that he's playing you......
You could be right. I heard through the grape vine that this same guy tried to kiss the wife of the other couple. She was REALLY pissed about it. I told her at one point that he was infatuated with me and she told me that I shouldn't worry about it because he seemed to be the same way with her. In answer to your other question, it doesn't look like he would leave her, nor would I want him to. She is very happy and I would never do that to someone.
Quote:In answer to your other question, it doesn't look like he would leave her, nor would I want him to. She is very happy and I would never do that to someone.
Well, Good for you....
KK, I've seen men like this...lol My husband would die if he knew some of the offers I've had from
his friends.
Were they tempting, yep. Simply because at that time in my marriage I was in a self-destruct mode. But the truth is, you have to think ahead of the game, play every angle.......and it wasn't worth it for me, because like you, I'd never do that to people that were my friends, and I wouldn't do that to my husband because of the repercussions and consquences attached. There is a line drawn in the sand there and you just don't cross it...
Block this joker's text messages and screen his calls, if you care at all about his fiancée's feelings.
If he really loves you and all of that then he will break it off with her. If not, then you won't have wasted so much energy on him.
If he was really in love with you, that would mean, he's not in love with his fiancee.
Then what what is he doing?
Playing around with her?
Using her?
Is that the kind of person you want to spend your life with?
My guess is, he just likes the chase.
He has no serious intentions with you!
Forget it and forget him!
Quote:If he was really in love with you, that would mean, he's not in love with his fiancee.
Then what what is he doing?
Playing around with her?
Using her?
Is that the kind of person you want to spend your life with?
My guess is, he just likes the chase.
He has no serious intentions with you!
Forget it and forget him!
Yep...he's one of them that wants to have his cake and get to eat it too.
Oh, good, a new way to up the drama.
so you know it's wrong and you don't want to do this. ok. what's this thread for?
I can't speak for her but, maybe she cares about this guy and his feelings. When it comes to matters of the heart, things aren't always so easy and clear cut.
When I was divorced from the first Mr. P., a man that my ex and I socialized with as a couple hung around my office building, and tried to follow me home on the subway.
It was very simple. I told him that if he did not get off the train immediately, I would call his wife and tell her what happened as soon as I got home. He did, and I never heard from him again ...................................I was very clear, and he knew that I was prepared to do what I said.
You said:
"I mean...we are talking blockbuster romantic movie plot here."
It's SO exciting, isn't it???!!!
The thrill of the forbidden!!
F-T-T-T
If you can't see what a "hound" he is, go ahead, have your fling, and break up this engagement. Then you MIGHT have him - and the headache he will bring. But, I have a feeling this guy will continue to cheat on this woman, even after marrage.
Good luck - you are going to need it.
You seem to be attracted to lots of drama and this is only another example.
Phoenix32890 wrote:When I was divorced from the first Mr. P., a man that my ex and I socialized with as a couple hung around my office building, and tried to follow me home on the subway.
It was very simple. I told him that if he did not get off the train immediately, I would call his wife and tell her what happened as soon as I got home. He did, and I never heard from him again ...................................I was very clear, and he knew that I was prepared to do what I said.
.....and that is how it's done.
I think many of you missed the part when I said I don't want to be with him. I am not attracted to him nor do I feel the same way about him that he does over me. But I never thought about that before Sully, I think you are right, I think if it wasn't me he was after it would be someone else. If that is the case, I feel even worse for her than I did. So my next question is this, do I block his text messages first and never talk to him again, or do I tell him not to talk to me any more and then block his text messages and never speak to him any more? Should he know that I respect her and I couldn't do that to her, or should I leave him constantly wondering? I wish he would just leave me alone!
Do you think he will respect you enough to stop?
He had none for his fiance to start with, and has shown none for you.....
kitkat_bar wrote:.......So my next question is this, do I block his text messages first and never talk to him again, or do I tell him not to talk to me any more and then block his text messages and never speak to him any more? Should he know that I respect her and I couldn't do that to her, or should I leave him constantly wondering? I wish he would just leave me alone!
Do you care about his feelings? If you don't, then it doesn't matter how you tell him, just do it and get it over with.
TTH wrote:kitkat_bar wrote:.......So my next question is this, do I block his text messages first and never talk to him again, or do I tell him not to talk to me any more and then block his text messages and never speak to him any more? Should he know that I respect her and I couldn't do that to her, or should I leave him constantly wondering? I wish he would just leave me alone!
Do you care about his feelings? If you don't, then it doesn't matter how you tell him, just do it and get it over with.
Hmm...now that I think about it...No. I don't really care about his feelings towards me. I guess that makes me weird. Most girls I know would swoon over someone who is so infatuated with them that they go crazy with thoughts about them. I mean, sure that would be nice, but not from a guy that is about to be married to a girl I respect. Alright. I think I know what I have to do. I told him no on the lunch thing by the way. We were supposed to go out to lunch and I was going to tell him in person to back off. I feel that meeting him in person would just make things worse.
kitkat- Stop playing games. You know how to get rid of someone, if you have to. You don't have to let him down lightly. Just cut it off, and let him know that if he bothers you again, you will tell his fiancee. If he persists, get a restraining order.
Bingo.
On another topic, kkb, you said that drama followed you around and you were often hit by it unexpectedly. Well, this isn't unexpected. It's out there and open and obvious. The guy's trying to be a player and get into your pants. Sorry if that's harsh but that's the reality of it.
Tell him or not, it doesn't freakin' matter. Just get it done and stop socializing with him and taking his calls. Push him out of your life. No, better. Shove him out. He does not deserve gentle measures.
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