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I Think My Girlfriend Might Be Pregnant

 
 
Reply Fri 21 Dec, 2007 12:29 pm
First, thank you in advance for your concern and support, which I need now more than ever.

This morning as my girlfriend was dressing for work (I pretended to still be asleep), I saw that sprouting from her vagina were tufts of hair--a strip of coarse-seeming, short, curly hair the same color of the hair on her head. Though her stomach is as firm as ever, and she has shown no other traditional pregnancy symptoms, I can only conclude that the hair belongs a baby ready to be born any day now.

I'm surprised I haven't heard the baby cry out yet, considering its head's proximity to the opening through which it shall soon enter our world. I'm even more surprised my girlfriend hasn't mentioned a word of this to me.

All day I have been tormented, struggling to conceptualize the profound responsibility impending, cursing myself for that one night nine months ago when I kissed my beloved on the mouth without wearing a condom.

To all young people reading this post: please learn from my mistake.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 847 • Replies: 5
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kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Dec, 2007 12:36 pm
Are you sure that it's real hair down there? Maybe she was using a barbie doll as a dildo and accidentally left it in there.
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Dec, 2007 12:42 pm
kickycan wrote:
Are you sure that it's real hair down there? Maybe she was using a barbie doll as a dildo and accidentally left it in there.



Don't laugh, it's happened.

At a nursing home I worked at, this sex crazed old women with alzheimers was constantly shoving stuff up there, including, yes, a Barbie doll.

When she kicked off, they were stripping the bed linens and found a beheaded Barbie twisted up in the sheets. Head, never found

I should be telling you this with a flashlight under my chin, aimed upwards.


Gargamel, it might just be a mouse that's latched on to her mons pubis.
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Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Dec, 2007 01:37 pm
I could imagine, Gargamel, that Linda Ellerbee will be very interested - perhaps you'll get invited by Nickelodeon?
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Dec, 2007 03:00 pm
Walter Hinteler wrote:
I could imagine, Gargamel, that Linda Ellerbee will be very interested - perhaps you'll get invited by Nickelodeon?



Linda Ellerbee?

Nickelodeon?
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Dec, 2007 03:15 pm
Gargamel, she is probably not pregnant.

When a girl reaches the age of 11 or 12, she will begin to start growing hair down there. This is a sign, that she is getting too old for you, and it's time to move on.
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