editing of passage

The only changes required which I can see are references to 'Temper' which should be to 'Obedient' and a typo of 'Obediencer'.

Many thank, Rhymer.

Thanks, Wy.

Grade 3 students refers to students who are in their third year at school. In my country, the standard of English is high. Students in Grade 3 are expected to understand passages such as the one I've written.

My father once told me about a tiger which killed its master.

The tiger trainer was Jackson. He was a patient man but he was strict when it comes to training of his tigers. He named one of the tigers Obedient because it was obedient.

One evening, Obedient was reluctant to perform one of the acts after [it/he] had performed all the others. He did not jump through the burning hoops. Jackson repeatedly cracked his whip but still [Temper/ Obedient] refused to do what [as] he was instructed. [to delete]. This angered Jackson, who was at a loss [as to] why the other tigers did as they were instructed to do, but not [Temper/ Obedient].

That evening when the performance was over, Jackson gave Obedience less food than [he] was always[usually] given. After finishing his meal, Obedience roared. Jackson believed it[the tiger] was telling him that it[he] was still hungry, but he[Jackson] did not give [it delete] any more food. This was because Jackson was punishing it [Obedience] for having refused to perform the last act. The next morning, Jackson gave Obedience a little less food [to Obedience] than [it delete] was usually given.

The following afternoon, Obedience was among the lions[tigers] the [that] Jackson picked to perform. [Obediencer] did all the tricks, but when it [the tiger] had to jump through the burning hoops, it again refused to do so. This angered Jackson, who cracked his whip at it [the powerful beast] several times. When it [Obedience] still refused to budge, Jackson landed the whip on its[the tiger's] body. Obedience immediately roared loudly and pounced on its [his] master, [and] {delete} killed [Killing] him. [pounced on his master, Killing him]. The audience panicked. Many of the children were crying out of fear [out IN fear?] and most of the spectators were shocked. The performance ended after this tragedy.

When the lion[tiger] had calmed down, it was led to its cage. It was later put to sleep.


There are a number of different spellings of the tigers name. Obedient, Temper, Obedience and Obediencer. I have changed some, you can do the rest.

I also found it a little diconcerting that the passage continuously refers to the tiger as "IT" rather than he, she or "the tiger" or some other descriptive phrase. Occasionally I was unsure if the passage was referring to something else rather than the tiger when "IT" was used. There are many ways to describe a tiger, repeating the word IT over and over shows a lack of creativity and could lead to confusion as to what IT refers to.
Care should also be taken with the word him/he to ensure the reader is clear on whether Jackson or the tiger is being referred to.

Capital letter always for names as I am sure you already know.

He was a patient man but he was strict when it comes [came] to training of his tigers.

Many thanks, Dadpad.