Commitment, Experimentation, Jealousy...

Well, I better start at the beginning and give you a few details.

My boyfriend and I have been going out for 8 months now. We moved in together a couple of months back, with his bro (there was a load of stuff went on then, his brother slagged his gf off and she left, bro moved next gf in...etc. He's just moved his mate in from work aswell...) my BF's mother basically forced us to leave this weekend just gone. BF's mother and brother have been slagging me off, behind my back and TO MY BFS FACE. Which I think is completely selfish, he's going to have split loyalties and it did upset him.

There was a lot of confusion of who was going to live where, in the end I'm back home with my mum (who's moving out within the next few months) and he's with his. He said he wanted to move in with me after a few weeks of 'break' then we would find our own house to share.

Night before last, it came out that he was happy at home and didn't think he wanted to live with me again. Now he's always been like this, he'll change his mind over and over and not know what he wants.
It gets confusing, he'll tell me he loves me and wants to be with me forever one night, then the next telling me we should break up.

He came over last night, and we spoke about stuff.

I asked him if he was still scared to 'commit' to me, as it were, and he said yes. It apparently scares him how easily I commit myself to him.

He was my first and I his..

I've had a few boyfriends in the past 'serious' but never had sex with any of them. He's never had a real GF apart from me. He went out with people in primary school then I was his only GF in secondary school and now.

He says he's scared to commit incase he's missing out. He doesn't want to say he'll be with me forever, just because he hasn't had experience of other girls.

He gave an example that came to him of getting completely drunk and 'shagging some random' but told me it sounded stupid saying it out loud. Meh.

It seems more like he just wants experience of sex with other girls rather than a proper relationship. I mean, I'm a pretty genuine person, I can't be bothered to try and act like someone else, whereas there are a vast number of girls out there who are REALLY fake. I am also a feisty person, and the BF takes everything like that really literally. If I disagree with him even a little bit he'll take it personally and get upset.

Now, I've thought about threesomes, and we've discussed it. I would prefer another guy, but I wouldn't mind a girl. The BF says he would only do it with another girl.

The thought of him having sex, even meaningless sex, with another girl, even while I was there, makes me insanely jealous. I mean seriously rips my heart apart.

I asked him how he would feel if I had sex with someone else, and he said "I would't be happy."

A bit later on I told him the worst bit wasn't the sex as such, but the cumming. Like, if he came inside another girl, THAT would be the thing that would make me not want him back, like he'd been tainted. He'd got pleasure from another girl and therefore I was useless.

I asked him how he would feel thinking about some other guy cumming in me, and he said that he agreed that would be a lot worse, he'd feel worse and wouldn't want me back because I'd be 'tainted'. Which is exactly how I feel, I haven't explained this fully to him, he just came out with it himself, which surprised me, that he felt the same way.

Well, still considering the threesome thing, but if he finds that some other girl is better than me, I'm worried he'll bugger off with her, or just to find someone else.

If the girl was in no way emotionally attached to him, like wasn't really attracted etc, and just kept it at plain sex, didn't speak about it afterwards, maybe it would be better.

Although, as soon as he'd had sex with this girl, there'd always be some kind of connection there...

I dont want to lose him, but I want to give him the option of experimenting whilst I could be involved, so he gets what he wants but is still mine, if you see what I mean. It wouldn't be betrayal, but like, we'd both be experimenting at the same time.

I'm just concerned that it could all go pear-shaped. He'd decide he didn't need me anymore and move on, or run off with another girl or I COULD feel that he'd betrayed me still. I can just see myself being upset, but it does appeal to me a bit.

Any comments/experiences etc would be appreciated.

Thanks