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Wed 21 Nov, 2007 04:27 pm
Dear Ted,
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.
I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years.
When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months.
I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Susie Fox
Dear Susie,
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the clips holding the vacuum lines onto the inlet manifold for air leaks. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps.
Ted
Ted's pretty sharp. The choke is another likely culprit.
Ted advice is lame.
Cars switched to fuel injection and ECU control years ago.
The first thing to check is if the "CEL" check engine light is on, and if so hook up your OBDII reader and check for stored faults. Refer to the shop manual for diagnosis and repair of the fault code.
If no CEL, the first thing to check is that none of the fuses are blown, then is there fuel in the tank, then is the air filter clogged, then is there spark at the plugs, then the condition of the battery, then replace the fuel filter.
Chumly wrote:Ted advice is lame.
Cars switched to fuel injection and ECU control years ago.
The first thing to check is if the "CEL" check engine light is on, and if so hook up your OBDII reader and check for stored faults. Refer to the shop manual for diagnosis and repair of the fault code.
If no CEL, the first thing to check is that none of the fuses are blown, then is there fuel in the tank, then is the air filter clogged, then is there spark at the plugs, then the condition of the battery, then replace the fuel filter.
I hope Susie has been watching this thread so that her mind will be at ease.
BBB
Women have been so brain-washed by men to believe that 5 inches are really 8 inches. As a result, they will believe anything their men tell them.
BBB
male advice
male advice answers all problems
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If at first you don't succeed--- Then ya prolly shouldn't take up skydiving.
Life is too short to take seriously, Death on the other hand is too long not to.
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Dr. Mona Knows... How To Handle Family Holiday Dysfunction
Why women write advice columns
Dr. Mona Knows... How To Handle Family Holiday Dysfunction
by Mona Ackerman
Posted November 22, 2007
Q: Every year I go through the same anxiety. It is the season of seeing the whole family and hearing their muted complaints and their veiled shock that my life doesn't seem to be moving forward. I am a 35-year-old single woman with a career in advertising. I love my grandparents, my parent, my siblings, and my nieces and nephews. It would appear to be a picture-perfect family gathering with the cooking, the gifts, and the singing. But there are also the tensions, the arguments, and the crying. I approach the Thanksgiving day with fear and then when it is all over, I feel relieved that it has finished and that I actually enjoyed it. So, why can't I enter into the day calmer and more relaxed?
A: A good question and, believe it or not, a universal one. Why is the picture of home and hearth full of peace and love, while inside our fears threaten to ruin the day? What is actually going on? Would understanding the process help us to focus on the pleasure? Let's try.
Dysfunctional! Everyone uses the term as a family that has its share of problems. We are not talking about the top level of dysfunction which may include serious issues like hatred, violence, danger, extreme jealousy, isolation, etc. What we are talking about here are the almost universal aspects of sibling rivalry, difference of opinion and lifestyle, and freedom and security to express anger. In this case, almost every family is dysfunctional.
Expectations! Why do we think that a full and rich day with our family is not supposed to include some unhappy moments? There will be joy and laughter along with disagreements and frustrations. Children may expect unconditional support from their parents for whatever their lifestyle. As for the parents, they see continuity - their children living as they once did - as both respect and love. In other words, everyone arrives at the festive day with their own set of expectations. And everyone arrives with the certainty that they will undoubtedly be disappointed. So anticipation of pain breeds anxiety. How about entering the situation with lower expectations?
Performance Anxiety! Every person has a role or position within the family. This role rarely changes throughout life. Sometimes a parent brings me a depressed child for therapy. As the child improves, as the depression lifts, the parents inevitably become distressed themselves. The order of the family has changed. Roles have shifted. Everyone loses balance. So, whatever role you play in the stage of your family's play, you will experience performance anxiety before the play opens on Thanksgiving. When I suggested to an actress that she distance herself from pain by treating her relatives as characters in her play she said, "It didn't work! My mother kept upstaging me!"
Humor! If we accept that every family including our own is dysfunctional and that we need to protect ourselves by lowering expectations and having set roles to play, then we can begin to see ourselves as a sit-com family and begin to recognize the humor in all situations. Step back, lighten up and watch it all as if it is an enjoyable TV program. Humor is a successful defense mechanism against inner chaos and anxiety. Therefore what better way is there to enjoy the holiday than to defend yourself from your own pain by laughing and enjoying your own Thanksgiving sitcom. They're all turkeys.
So arm yourself with these points and be aware of your own specific needs and fears as you yourself have presented them. Listen to yourself. You may want to ask yourself if you are not projecting onto your family your own disappointment with your career and your social life. If you are actually happy and secure with your own path, then you can arm yourself against whatever anyone else feels about it. And if a family member persists in placing you in the role that you may have been given since birth, in this case as the family's designated loser, then it is past time for your to embrace your holiday role with humor.
Watch it all, have fun, and eat well!!
Men don't write advice columns because women don't want advice from men, they just want them to listen.
=========================================
The newspaper had the columnist and Susie Fox meet face to face.
Male Advice Columnist: First, that jerk has no respect for your feelings and...
Susie: Hey. Don't call my husband names. You don't know what we've been through.
Male Advice Columnist: Uh,... okay, here's what you do... .
Susie: I mean what good does that do? I mean, for pete's sake...
Male Advice Columnist: Okay, okay, he's not a jerk. What I think... .
Susie: Well, he is. You know. Kind of. And that skinny bitch next door ... .
Male Advice Columnist: I can give you a number to...
Susie: Hey, I'm speaking.
Male Advice Columnist: er.
Susie: I'm trying to air out my thoughts here.
Male Advice Columnist: (nods, tries not to look at Suzie's breasts)
Susie: Jesus Christ, what do I have to do? I'm working, he's not. When I get home the house is a mess and he doesn't pick up a piece of paper or wash a dish or, god forbid, his fricken underwear off the floor.
Male Advice Columnist: (tries to remember he took this job instead of food critic.)
Susie: Of course, THIS TIME his underwear was on the goddamned stairs along with the cheap Walmart skirt that bitch, that bitch, that bitch was wearing.
Male Advice Columnist: I... .
Susie: Meanwhile, when I try to get him in the mood I can practically dance naked around the kitchen and I get nothing.
Male Advice Columnist: Have you really tried that? (tries harder not to look at Suzie's breasts)
Susie: Do you I'm attractive?
Male Advice Columnist: I think you are feeling vunerable right now.
Susie: So you don't think I'm attractive?
Male Advice Columnist: Look, what we ... .
Susie: So if threw myself at you right now, you'd turn me down??
Male Advice Columnist:(tries to remember if the boss said these sessions would be on camera and taped.)
Susie: What an idiot I am! I'm living with a cheating jerk and I'm trying to pick up a loser newspaper a--hole.
Male Advice Columnist: (remembers-no cameras until next Tuesday) There. There. Come're. You need a little hug that's all.
They hug. They embrace. It's a nice rock-a-bye baby hug.
Susie: You're not an a--hole. I'm sorry. (kisses MAC's cheek)
Male Advice Columnist: (tries to remember if he remembered to put another condom in his wallet)
Joe(it's all downhill from there)Nation
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