Soy.coli Contamination of Tofurkey

Seems one of the tofu gutting machines at one of the nation's largest tofurkey plants malfunctioned, potentially contaminating millions of pounds of chunked, formed tofu product with deadly soy.coli.

Consumers who have purchased potentially tainted tofurkey are urged to throw it in the gutter. "Nothing will eat it anyway", said a company spokesman.