Mother-In-Law problem

Hm, is your wife on your side? Has your MIL apologized for slapping you?
That's the least I'd ask of her, apologize to you. Has she always been uncooperative?

Wife flip flops worse then a politician on my side one minute on hers the next. MIL hasnt appoligized and is ignoring it.

It's a difficult situation, and no matter what you do, you'll alienate one or
the other, or both! For the sake of your wife and your child who should
have Grandma around, I'd ignore MIL and try not to interact with her.
Just don't go to her house, let your wife and baby go alone, and if she's
due to arrive at your home, try to get on the golf course for a prolonged
time.

Ideally, your wife should side with you and stick to it, unfortunately
she doesn't!

My mother in-law is a real cuck. She NEVER liked me because I wasn't Mormon. She was always trying to solve all of my problems with Jesus. I wouldn't say she hated me, but she sure didn't like me being in the family. When I finally left my husband last month she told him that it was basically good riddance and that he could now focus his attention on looking for a nice Mormon girl to spend the rest of his life with. How sick is that? I've been in the family for 5 years, three of them I was married to her son. I've babysat her grandchildren and taken her other sons out to lunch. I was there when her mother in-law died and I went to her funeral. After I left my husband last month, not even one phone call from her, like I never even existed! And I am technically STILL married to her son. WTF? Oh well...I guess it's good riddance to her then!

You need to understand the family dynamic here.

You can not win against your MIL. That is a timetested fact.

You need to discuss this with your wife, and figure out where the real issues are.

Be very careful. As the "outsider" here, they know where the "mines" are, and you do not...

I could not follow the whole story, sorry.
Your post is a little like a snapshot, only showing a still from a movie...

Obviously, having a two year old, you have known your mother-in-law for a while.
Has she always been like this?
Rude and abusive?
If not, when did it start?
What is the part about being bad parents?

She had to be restrained?
By who? Was there somebody else present?
A father-in-law?
If so, where does he stand?

But no matter what the answers to all my questions are, I think you and your wife should be standing on the same side.
Argue in private, but stand united to anything outside of your partnership!

Runamuck--

The chances of a groveling, sincere apology from your m-i-l are about the same as a phone call informing you that you won the Nobel Prize.

You can't change the woman.

Further, your wife can't change her mother.

You have every right to be offended--on your own turf. Stay on your own turf. Calamity Jane was absolutely right about that. Let your wife and child visit her family without you.

Keep an open mind about the long run, here. Believe me, incredible as it may seem, there are families and individuals who solve sticky family problems by pretending that the affront never happened.

Don't ask your wife to choose between you. Just stay on your turf.

Two, three years down the road, you may feel more forgiving. Or you may not. In either case, ignore the situation on your terms, not your m-i-l's.

Good luck.

Kitkat--

You come across as a daughter-in-law with a grudge. Why should your m-i-l give you any emotional support? (Particularly if she's never liked you).

You don't much like her, either--and you're telling the world about your personal preferences.

Was alcohol involved in any way in your m-i-l's outburst?

Not to intentually take away from the thread poster, but If you are asking me the alcohol question then no, Alcohol had nothing to do with any of our problems for she was Mormon. Also, no I never had any grudges. I never expected anything from her nor was I ever anything but nice and supportive and sweet to all of them. They were my other family. The point I was trying to make is that some people just can't see past religion. They didn't like me because I wasn't Mormon and didn't go to church, not becuase they thought I was a horrible person. What I was trying to say is that I was her daughter in law for three years and spent many many good times with them but because I am not Mormon she sees me as disposable.

Humm...I've had one of those MIL's, aren't they fun? In my situation, I had to fight fire with fire but that doesn't work with all people.

Seriously, take your licks and never go back till hell freezes over, because thats when you will get your apology. The trick here is, are you and your spouse on the same side? Thats the important question, no matter what fueled the outburst, if they are not in support of you, you loose.

The only thing I see differently is if MIL dares to step foot in your home, than she is on your turf. I wouldn't hide, I wouldn't run.....that is your home and she doesn't have the right to give her opinion or make demands on you there. She can keep her opinion and her hands to herself.



>grins sheepishly< HI ALL :wink: thought I'd peek in for a minute

Shivers!!!!


I've missed you so much.

Thank youuuuuu....... I've missed you as well, along with quite a few others! I thought I needed a dose of A2K...lol


(sorry, wasn't trying to hi-jack the thread)

(go to the missing people thread, tell all)