Re: I need a hug
martybarker wrote:First off, let me thank all of you for listening to me whine. I really appreciate the support you all offer.
It's been a little over 4 years since my ex left. I really do feel that I am way over him. It's just the fact that he left the way that he did. So I'm trying to be a big girl and get over all of the hurt. Our relationship with each other is so strained that we basically communicate via email. But the rare times that I hear his voice or see him I crack. This morning we were about 5 minutes into a conversation about our son and I felt the sudden urge to cry and had to hang up.
What is up with that???
His behaviour is all about him, not you. It sounds like you might be taking this personally, and you shouldn't. He likely would have done to others what he did to you. Again, his behaviour is about HIM. Your behaviour is about YOU. So...it's time to let that go and move on. It's history. Over. Done. You didn't deserve it, life's not fair, etc. - we would all agree to that. But what are you going to do with the rest of your life? Let him and what he did ruin it?
Be grateful for all the positives in your life. Be grateful he can't do that to you again. Be grateful you don't live with someone who would do that to someone he 'loved'. Be grateful it was only
x years of your life with him and not more.
Think about where and what you want to be and what you want for yourself and your kids and focus on those things, not him and the past.
What would you tell your best friend if she were in this situation? That's how I check on my progress... what would I tell someone else? If it's something different from what I'm doing, it's a really good wake up call.
Good luck with this.