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Tue 6 Nov, 2007 09:44 am
Married man, gets another woman pregnant (yes I will get flamed)
Situation, I am 30, wife is 28.
I prolly shoudl have gotten married in my early 30s...the following will show why....
Been married since Jan 2006...I met her in Nov 2004, got engaged Jul 2005, then married Jan 2006.
ANyhow I ended up cheating on her many times with a colleague from work who is 4 yrs older than me. The cheating started in June 2006, sex was always unprotected and she ended up getting pregnant.
Now she wants to keep the baby and is 3 mths pregnant.
I love my wife, (but of course not enuf to have stayed faithful to her), but I also am really really feeling the connection with this other women, this other woman is 6'0, with a nice waist, right ol' child bearing hips, and a nice rack, smile, and overall very nice-ladylike personality. Whereas my wife, when I met her she was 190 @ 5'9" very very pretty (in the face), however now she is approx (and when I cheated on her) 260lbs, and our sex life is almost non-existant.
I love my wife, and she is avery very innocent, when I married her I told her that I had only had sex with 3 women (when the real number was A LOT higher), she, herself was a virgin. Had never had a bf, and never been intimate with a guy. THIS IS WHAT SHE TOLD ME at least, and I do take her word for it.
Anyhow, now I know if this other woman is pregnant, I can't deny my offspring, it is NOT within my nature. BUT a part of me knows how much this will hurt my wife, she is very very loving, and DOES ANYTHING for me. i know i fcuked this one up royally. I have let down A LOT of people, my parents, myself and most importantly MY WIFE.
A part of me believes in this fallacy that when I tell my wife, that somehow me, my wife, and this woman can somehow cohabitate together. BUT I know the reality, my wife will be devasted, she will be so torn beyond repair. I don't knwo where to go wtih this, and how to deal with this, a part of me doesn't wanna deal with it, and in turn I don't feel like telling my wfie about anything.
I told htis other woman to abort it manytimes, but again I care for her and am not going to force her to do something that she will regret, and she has done this before and said she didn't want to abort another baby, "I cant live with it" etc etc.
I know, I want my wife to have a happy/normal life, but I can't see her having one after I drop this bomb on her. A part of me also thinks she may not divorce me and may stay with me, an attitude kinda like "where else does she have to go" (I know she has plenty of options, there are 3 billion ppl of the opposite sex in this world, so no issues there, but nonetheless a part of me believes she will not divorce me)
anyhow. HAS ANYONE EVER KNOWN ANYONE IN SUCH A SITUATION?
Help me.
Expected birth date is Jun 20th 2008.
My gut reaction is that you're a fool!
Is that judgemental enough? Is that what you want to hear-- as you seem to bragging about it ("where is she going to go?")
You helped to create another life due to purely selfish reasons. I just can't help myself here as there seems to be no remorse and show us words that indicate you are completely self-centered.
Like it or not, Adulthood is upon you. Face it like a man, and admit your mistakes to your wife and take your lumps. You need to take a stiff look in the mirror, and take responsibility for your actions. You can not have anything you want and not pay for it.
You are a walking ad for why children need to know about the dangers of unprotected sex. Think before you f**k.
Sex is not Love.
It's too bad your parents didn't think of abortion when you were being conceived.
Lordy, lordy, what a story.
I'm sure the fantasy is that you all live happily ever after but I'm thinking the reality is going to be an empty bank account after you pay alimony and child support.
Yeah, take responsibility for your action and deal with it, like every other
adult has to deal with life.
You made your bed, now you have to lay in it!
I'm with Ragman - you are an a$$. Your wife deserves a whole lot better than you. You obviously care more about outward appearances as the first thing you did was describe the woman's looks you had an affair with - not the type of person she is.
This is what you should do (however, I doubt it seeing you appear to be a selfish idiot) - tell your wife and let her know you lied to her in the past - be honest. She deserves to know. Then if your wife is dumb enough to take you back - direct her to this website and we will set her straight.
Then take care of the child.
Linkat: Well said! Bless your heart and mind for seeing through this cad.
I think both women will be well off without you, even the tall one with the waist and the rack. You will be owing them - the wife for her dashed dreams, presumably some alimony, and it would be good if she could have some counselling and that you pay for it. You'll be owing your lover child support. Be a man and pay it.
Next, get yourself some counselling. None of us are perfect, but you show great immaturity for your age and there may be reasons for that, that it would help you in the long run to work out.
Ragman wrote:Linkat: Well said! Bless your heart and mind for seeing through this cad.
I am not usually this blunt, but in some circumstances it is just called for.
Re: HELP ME: Married man got another woman preg
L33T F00L wrote:A part of me believes in this fallacy that when I tell my wife, that somehow me, my wife, and this woman can somehow cohabitate together.
OMG, this line has me laughing.
Linkat said it best.
So please help me to understand the purpose of your post? We're supposed to feel for your plight and act sorry for you or perhaps feel motivated to want to help you solve your problem? Even though you seem to be relatively absent of remorse or show much concern over your unborn child, your wife or your pregnant lover?
No one could be so proudly dishonorable and deceitful. I don't believe any of it.
Maybe this is what sort of mischief Gus got into while he was away?
Where has he been anyway?
(I can't believe I'm asking...)
eoe wrote:Where has he been anyway?
(I can't believe I'm asking...)
This is where we are all guessing....
http://www.able2know.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=106515
Re: HELP ME: Married man got another woman preg
L33T F00L wrote:anyhow. HAS ANYONE EVER KNOWN ANYONE IN SUCH A SITUATION?
Help me.
Sure, Reverend Jesse Jackson fathered a child with his mistress while married, supported said child secretly for years while maintaining all the appearance of being a loving husband.
Quote:In 2001, it was revealed that Jackson (married since 1962) had an affair with a staffer Karin Stanford that resulted in the birth of their daughter, Ashley. According to CNN, in August of 1999, The Rainbow Push Coalition had paid Stanford $15,000 in moving expenses and $21,000 in payment for contracting work.[19] This incident prompted Jackson to withdraw from activism for a short period of time. [20] Separate from the 1999 Rainbow Coalition payments, Jackson pays $3,000 a month in child support.[21]
wiki source
What kind of help are you looking for?
I take eoe's point. I was answering as if real.
Mick Jagger fathered a child with another woman while married to Bianca, his first wife. His two oldest children are the same age, born the same year.
I think having lots of moolah helps to smooth the ruffled feathers.
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