Terrorist foiled at heathrow

This just in from reuters:

At Heathrow Airport this morning, an individual, later discovered to be a school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.
Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement which has struck terror into the lives of many for generations. He is being charged with carrying weapons of maths instruction.