She made a mistake? hmmmm

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Let me start off by saying that I have been dating a lot lately.

There is this one girl I have been seeing who I wasn't that interested in at first, but as time went on I was thinking that maybe I should give her a chance.

I met her in a bar. The first time I approached her, we chatted for a bit. i was going to leave soon and I asked for her number. She was like "I don't meet people in bars." So I talke dto her a little more and when I had her laughing again - I was like "I better go before you start liking someone you met in a bar." So I bolted. The next weekend, I bumped into her again at the same place and she gave me her #.

So anyway, this girl and I have had multiple dates. I have taken her to dinner, drinks, a show... etc. This is over a period of 1-2 months. She has mentioned many times "that I have good qualities" and things of that nature.

Last weekend, we hung out both Friday and Saturday night. We even talked about possibly seeing more of each other.

We get back to my place, I sat on my couch and she on the loveseat. It wasn't long before she got up, sat down beside me, and the next thing I know she is on my lap, making out heavily.

The next night, we went out again, and she was very touchy-feely once again. I purposely sat back and let her make the moves.

It was like 3 AM Sunday morning, she was laying on my couch. I told her I was headed to bed and she could join if she wanted- or I would fetch her a blanket to sleep on the couch. She seemed indecisive so I just went to bed. When I woke she was gone, which was cool...

So, fast forward 2 days later. I call the girl to say hello and make small talk. Somehow we get on the conversation of what transpired on the weekend and she flat out said she "made a mistake".

That really blew me away. I mean I let this make all the moves only to turn around and say what she did like I somehow pressured her?

I told her that this would be pretty much it for us and I don't understand.

Then she breaks out the whole relationship talk.... uggh. Claiming "I am not ready for a relationship." I am just sitting there wondering where that even came from!

I was like "can't we just go back to enjoying each other's company?" and "why do we have to label it?"

I just can't bring myself to hang with a girl who claims making out with me is a MISTAKE. So I told her to go away....

I just find the whole thing very peculiar.

Her body languages says one thing and her mouth speaks another...

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keep fishing
!

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Agree. Some people can nod their heads and say no at the same time. It's quite disconcerting, and I prefer to keep life simple

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shes scared you dont like her.

she wants you to take charge im guessing, no girl would make out with you and then say that.
or she is possibly too emotional, and you dont want her anyways.

Thats my 2 cents.

I think shes scared you dont like her. but im known to be too confident and thats what i would think if it happened to me.

Alot of times i think a girl is rejecting more only to realise shes is merely "testing" my desire for her. Or something im not quite sure yet. but thats what i believe it to be.

but if she seems really anxious or psycho i wouldnt think much of it.

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Quote:

I met her in a bar. The first time I approached her, we chatted for a bit. i was going to leave soon and I asked for her number. She was like "I don't meet people in bars." So I talke dto her a little more and when I had her laughing again - I was like "I better go before you start liking someone you met in a bar." So I bolted. The next weekend, I bumped into her again at the same place and she gave me her #.

This gal is handing out double messages, big time. She doesn't meet people in bars.............but she goes to bars. She makes the first move, makes out with you, and then backs away.

I don't know what this woman's problem is, but whatever it is, it sounds like you don't need the aggravation!

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[quote="Phoenix32890"]This gal is handing out double messages, big time. She doesn't meet people in bars.............but she goes to bars. [/quote]

You are implying, I can only go to places to meet people.
I can enjoy being in a nightclub, but still that would not be my first choice of place to find a boyfriend...

Just because this poor girl is confused, does not mean she is out to deceive people or deliberately play with them.
She might have been brought up with different views on relationships and how they are supposed to happen, and now that her libido apparently got the better of her maybe she is unsure as how to deal with the situation.

My advice to cerattocazzzaaaopp :
You either get over your hurt ego and try to get to know the girl a little better and see what at some point might or might not happen, or you accept that right now you are obviously not after the same thing.

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Re: She made a mistake? hmmmm

cerattocazzzaaaopp wrote:

So, fast forward 2 days later. I call the girl to say hello and make small talk. Somehow we get on the conversation of what transpired on the weekend and she flat out said she "made a mistake".

That really blew me away. I mean I let this make all the moves only to turn around and say what she did like I somehow pressured her?

How does one lead to another, though? She obviously wanted to in the moment, but then when she cooled down she decided that what she'd done was a mistake. Pressure doesn't have to enter into it at all... just changing her mind.

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If there was a god I would thank her everyday I don't have to be in the dating game.

Find someone else to drive you crazy, ceratto, you'll only lose sleep and much more by trying to solve the mystery of what that woman wants.

Joe(Probably calls waiters back to change her order three times)Nation

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Quote:

Somehow we get on the conversation of what transpired on the weekend and she flat out said she "made a mistake".

That really blew me away. I mean I let this make all the moves only to turn around and say what she did like I somehow pressured her?

I told her that this would be pretty much it for us and I don't understand.

Then she breaks out the whole relationship talk.... uggh. Claiming "I am not ready for a relationship." I am just sitting there wondering where that even came from!

I was like "can't we just go back to enjoying each other's company?" and "why do we have to label it?"

I just can't bring myself to hang with a girl who claims making out with me is a MISTAKE. So I told her to go away....

I just find the whole thing very peculiar.

Her body languages says one thing and her mouth speaks another

Had she been drinking the night she was amorous?

Is she "saving herself for marriage"?

Is she established in a career? Does she have a career?

Would you say that in general her life--starting with childhood--has been happy?

I gather from her post that she feels heaving making out implies a commitment to her physical partner--a commitment she isn't willing to make right now.

She isn't rejecting you as much as she's denouncing her own behavior.

If you have time for Girl Growing Up, continue seeing her. If you're allergic to emotional morasses, move on.

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Quote:

We get back to my place, I sat on my couch and she on the loveseat. It wasn't long before she got up, sat down beside me, and the next thing I know she is on my lap, making out heavily.

The next night, we went out again, and she was very touchy-feely once again. I purposely sat back and let her make the moves.

It was like 3 AM Sunday morning, she was laying on my couch. I told her I was headed to bed and she could join if she wanted- or I would fetch her a blanket to sleep on the couch. She seemed indecisive so I just went to bed. When I woke she was gone, which was cool...

I'm sorry, I would have gone too! She showed you already in so many
ways that she was interested and made the first move. All you came up
with, is going to bed and she could join you if she wants to?
If you're always this passionate about a girl, I can understand why the
girl is having mixed emotions. She's practically throwing herself onto
you and you're as indifferent as can be.

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I agree with CJ - you sounded indifferent there... I mean, you WERE making out with her, weren't you? Possibly she was pissed at you for not being a little smoother in inviting her to bed.

Maybe you're the one who's confused and is needing the distance?

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Not that rushng off to sex is always smart, or always dumb. Situations vary, people vary. The Mr. Cool you-decide-if-you-want-to-go-there-I'll-let-it-be-your- choice (not verbalized except in a semi irritated sounding way to the reader) approach is as much your doing as hers. She may be a girl working her way to woman, but I'm not sure she is someone to just dismiss.

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Yes, you're right osso, but look, he said

Quote:

So anyway, this girl and I have had multiple dates. I have taken her to dinner, drinks, a show... etc. This is over a period of 1-2 months. She has mentioned many times "that I have good qualities" and things of that nature.

They went out for 2 months and he never ever made a move. Excuse me,
but where I come from, it is still the guys job, to make the first move,
and if he doesn't so in 2 months time, I am hurt and confused too.

Yes Mame, I think so too! He's the one who needs a reality check.

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Well, I can see some waiting, and not discussing, cultural variations - I tell ya, it's hard to remember from here - but, I've not the opinion that this is somehow her doing.

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Oss... put yourself in her shoes - you're dating this guy, then making out 'heavy', then he suddenly up and says "I'm going to bed"... not the smoothest way to say, Would you like to come with me? He could/should have said something that included her...

I'd have dumped him just for that delivery alone.

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Hey, do you two think I disagree?

I'm not either of them.

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Okay. I am coming around to cj's (and every other woman on this thread) opinion. Listen up, kiddo.

There is a limit to being joeCool. To be honest (or to cover my ass over not reading the thread slowly enough) the "I'mma gunna go lay down, it's up to you...blah blah." is the least hottest "Let's get it on." phrase I've ever heard. Kinda like, "you wanna?, no biggie if you don't."

Sex, men have not learned this as of yet (Hey, only 100,000 years of attempts by women to let them know) is ALWAYS more important to the woman. You can't undercut and expect anything to happen.

All of the women I have ever known (hey, let's not get into all that again) have not liked having to make the first move, even after we had been together for awhile. My strategy has always been not to give them any chance to make the first move.

(Hey, she said Very Happy

, I was just thinking about that.)
(goodie)

Joe(Maybe things have changed out there in dateVille?)Nation

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Joe (to the rescue - perfect) Nation

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Re: She made a mistake? hmmmm

cerattocazzzaaaopp wrote:

Her body languages says one thing and her mouth speaks another...

Sorry to say, but this goes for you, too.

No offense, but I think you're both insecure and playing games. You could have said something about you're tired and how about the two of you going to bed, you could just cuddle or somthing... and she could have said (when you said you were headed to bed), "Mind if I join you?" or "Good idea!", or something of that nature... but the very fact it got so snarled up makes me believe my first sentence: you're both insecure and playing games.

And really, no offense intended. Just that's not what would be happening in my life.

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She made a mistake? hmmmm

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