Questions at the gates

A man appeared before St Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.

"So, I approached the largest and most heavily-tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground." I yelled, "Now, back off biker boy or you'll answer to me!"

St Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"

"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."