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Tue 12 Aug, 2003 08:38 am
So the dinner table conversation turned once again to my single status last night. And fuelled by booze, the friend I was dining with, went for it with a gusto. And considering that he is a psychologist by profession, he took upon himself to analyse my situation.
Ofcourse, I don't agree with his analysis, cause I don't believe him one bit. But it did intrigue me enough to post it here, as get some opinion from you folks whether it holds any water, or as the case was, bacardi and coke.
My friend claims that I am a victim of my own success. He says that I am gorgeous, sexy, smart, funny, successful, moderately rich, flirtatious, etc etc.... (none of which I claim to be, except maybe flirty, funny at times, successful and moderately rich). So this is causing me two problems....
a) People think I am too good to be true. They think I have a hidden agenda, and everything is an act.
b) People tend to get very possessive of me, as due to my personality traits they think that I will sooner or later get bored of them, or my attention will wane, or I will be attracted or hooked to/by someone else. So basically, any relationship with me will end in tears.
As I said above, I don't agree with the things he said abt me, but also with his analysis as people can be "too good to be true" and hence someone is "scared" of having a relationship with such people, and also these kind of men (or women) cannot be faithful.
What do you think ?
I don't analyze people, so no opinion. For what it's worth, I once asked a psychology major why he had chosen that particular field. "Little Tin God Complex.", he said.
Roger - I hate being analysed myself, but....
Phoenix, let us not even go there !!
Hey G, I thought you wanted to be single! Or at least non-committed.
I have little use for psychologist as their analysis and therapy often ignores the fact that we (humans) live in a social context and a good deal of our thinking and behavior can be explained by how others view and behave toward us. But this individual is a friend and part of your social network and is familiar with the social context of your life. So fueled by booze he may be telling you thing he normally, by social convention, could not. Dressing the message in psychological jargon to either protect himself, or distance himself from the message.
I was thinking something similar, Acquiunk.
I'd say the core message is, "If you want a serious relationship, act like it."
G-
Sounds like the complaint I've heard about 'unapproachable' celebrities, and beauty queens (no pun intended
). Prospective datees of the Beautiful People are sure their dance card is quite full, or that they'll be humiliated or discarded quickly. I think this can be a real possibility if you are nearly as fabulous as you say you are.
(I'm kidding )
And, add to that the fact that you aren't seeking a partner, but temporary entertainment. Word could get around. I think there are relatively few people, who are looking for a short term thing. What's the point in getting to know someone on a deep level, if you know at the outset they will be out of your life pretty soon?
(Why do I keep flashing on Jack of Will and Grace?)
Where is your primary trouble... convincing them to give you a go, or in their wanting to maintain the relationship after you've lost interest?
Oh, Gautam's fabulous, that's for sure.
I thought he probably was.
The masses are clamoring for him worldwide. This is a job for cloning!
My analysis, and I am no psychologist....maybe your friend is afraid to be gay and in luuuvvvv....
This is only a problem for you if you make it one, G. Now tell me about your mother...
guyz !!!
No, I havent closed myself to a relationship. That was the reason why I dated "R" (if you still remember him). If the right person comes along, then yeah why not ??
And how do u "act" as if you are ready for a relationship ?
But anyways, this thread was more abt asking yr opinion as to whether you or anyone else would have a relationship with a person who seems to be "too good to be true" without trying to find out more abt him or would you close yrself to him/her right away....
I would try to find out more.
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