Reply
Sun 10 Aug, 2003 05:58 pm
While two examples do not a paradigm make, I offer this observation and puzzlement. I have two cousins (sisters) aged 58 and 62, the elder one had been married four times and in her own words "always for passion" apparently the passion was problematic in the first three marriages and yet she refused to change her search of a relationship based on passion (passion not specified as sexual but rather in pursuits within one's bliss) she has now been married for 15 years quite happily and both she and her husband have many varied interests from local politics to gardening, some being mutual, some not. My other cousin married for security and has been married for 41 years, has a nice home and several grandchildren, her primary activites are eating and her fundy church which she attends numerous times per week while her husband drinks beer and watches ESPN (he is a good provider and has a construction company) I assume she is happy and I also assume her sister is happy.
While i do not offer a black and white scenerio, there are obvious differences in what values they each pursued. My question would be what route (more or less) did you pursue in your life and what you do the same all over again?
My route has been very different from your cousins. I'd suggest that from my very limited perspective (how many americans have i really met? maybe 100?) that the multi-married one seems very American to me. Many of the Americans I have met have seemed to be in and out of marriages very easily. I don't understand that.
I also don't understand the marrying for security approach.
Both of them seemed to have chosen a similar route - that is, an identity based on partnership and the partner. One may call it passion, but it still reads like partnership identity to me.
Interesting that you see them having chosen different roads, while I perceive it as, if not the same, very similar roads.
the most important factor is the congenial atmosphere of family.
every member in this family should exchange their ideas and converse with each other.
in fact,happiness is a strange thing.you can own it easily,or perhaps
you will never get it.it depends on the problem of mentality.
sometimes a poor man with optimistic psychology will have his life easy and carefree.but on the contrary,a billionaire,if he isn't able to conduct the family relationship well,money i think is just the helplessness.
money can't substitute for everything.maybe it can buy you a good fame or an admirable reputation,but it cannot purchase you the real happiness.
so if you are always addicted with the $$, maybe your days are numbered.
behave yourself and you will gain the sheer happy home.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace