my soulmate

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hi i am new here. i am married for 11 years with a child who is 10.last feb 06 i bumped my soulmate in the local area after 18 years lost in touch due to no mobile, no fax no e mail etc i am deaf .. that time someone have blocked our communicatin to keep in touch and even he drove up to find me but someone told him i was no longer lived there. he send me a letter but someone threw it away. i was so sad and never forget him then i got married ... .... bumped into him in the same area..we both were lived in a long distance in differnt places but this place only 5 mins drive away from our houses. we were shocked to meet each other again and still text daily and continue see each other for 1 half yrs. i admit i am having an affair. love is powerful..i always think my husband is my bestfirend and sex is nt nver be good for many years. after making love i think of my soulmate and felt sad.. now we found each other. it is so hard .... i can see one of you feel the same ...he is divorced twice and have a child and single at moment

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I wonder why your soulmate is twice divorced. If you left your husband for this man, how do you know you wouldn't end up as divorce #3?

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Hi pde,

I'm deaf too -- there are plenty of ways to find people, and there were 18 years ago. Certainly 11 years ago.

As in, this does sound sad, but you made a decision. Two decisions, really. First one -- not to find this guy. Second one -- to marry your husband. You need to take responsibility for those decisions.

If your relationship with your husband has problems, you can decide to work on those or to split up with him. But I don't think it's OK to just have an affair because you made two bad decisions in the past. I think "soul mate" dresses that up. (Did you think your husband was your soul mate when you married him?)

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soulmate

happycat wrote:

I wonder why your soulmate is twice divorced. If you left your husband for this man, how do you know you wouldn't end up as divorce #3?

2 women had affairs whilst married him. !!

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Doesn't that suggest he's missing something, and these women have gone elsewhere to satisfy that lack of 'something'?

Do you love your husband? Would you actually leave him to be with your 'soulmate' again? What made you consider this man your 'soulmate'? Would you put your child through the trauma of a divorce?

Sorry, so many questions, but you've said little about your emotional attachments to your husband or this other man. What's your background with him before you met up in 2006?

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Personally, I think it's a bit harsh to imply that because someone has been divorced twice before it's more or less expected they'll be a third divorce.

If someone had never married, one never says "you could be divorce #1", there's a 50/50 chance of that.

Sometimes, when someone has divorced, they learn from the experience of what they did wrong themselves, or what to avoid in a future mate. Because someone is divorced one really can't assume it was that person that caused the marriage to go sour.

Then again, I'm wife #5, and have been for 14 years.

My husband is a serial monogomist.

married for 6 years, divorced for 2 weeks and remarried same person for another 6 years.....#1 and #2 (same person) left because she wasn't getting pregnant

wife #3 lasted 6 years, they had 1 daughter, now 27, he got a vasectomy and wanted no more children, she did want more....she remarried and has 15 year old twins.l

Wife #4 was brief, he left her after less than 2 years, at the same time I left my husband #1...to run off together. Now it's 15 years later.

We met between wife #3 and #4

Were we soul mates? I don't know. I don't like that term.

The question to pde is...does your husband feel the same way you do? Is he tired of your marriage also?

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That his other 2 wives had affairs on him is HIS version of the story.

But according to him, they had affairs while married to him, so he divorced them both.
Yet, he is ok with you having an affair with him whilst married to your current husband.

Rolling Eyes

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can you please explain who the "he's" and "him's" are in your above post?

I have to admit I'm not sure which person you are talking about, or if you are talking about 2 people.

Maybe differentiate by SM and husband?

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she is talking about " soulmate."

In Soulmates version of the story, his wives cheated on him.

And now , Soulmate has attracted yet another woman who cheats during marriages.

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oh...ok...

shewolf, I'm so glad you speak "Chai-nese"

I dunno...I'd have to know why the other 2 wives cheated on him.

Every relationship is different,

could be he divorced them and they were totally fine with it "yeah, I was gonna leave you anyway"

could be
could be
could be

so, what IS the reason pde?

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I think I missed the question. ?

Hi pde. Welcome to the forum!

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mushy
you're always getting so technical.

I think the question is...what do we think about this soulmate business, and should she go with him.

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teehee.

Thought has no weight here. Her loins are all heated up!

We need ICE!! and pronto.

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thanks for the visual Confused

haha

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teehee?

god mushy, you're so gay sometimes.

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That's really true. I am gay sometimes. Laughing

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Pde--

Welcome to A2K.

Quote:

hi i am new here. i am married for 11 years with a child who is 10.last feb 06 i bumped my soulmate in the local area after 18 years lost in touch due to no mobile, no fax no e mail etc i am deaf .. that time someone have blocked our communicatin to keep in touch and even he drove up to find me but someone told him i was no longer lived there. he send me a letter but someone threw it away. i was so sad and never forget him then i got married ... .... bumped into him in the same area..we both were lived in a long distance in differnt places but this place only 5 mins drive away from our houses. we were shocked to meet each other again and still text daily and continue see each other for 1 half yrs. i admit i am having an affair. love is powerful..i always think my husband is my bestfirend and sex is nt nver be good for many years. after making love i think of my soulmate and felt sad.. now we found each other. it is so hard .... i can see one of you feel the same ...he is divorced twice and have a child and single at moment

Eighteen years ago you and your "Soulmate" were separated by cruel family or cruel fate.

Seven years passed.

You had recovered enough from your blighted romance to marry. This marriage has produced a ten year old child.

Right about the time of your daugher's tenth birthday, you and your Soulmate met by accident and started a torrid affair.

He has two marriages and two divorces behind him. One of these marriages produced a child.

Quote:

i always think my husband is my bestfirend and sex is nt nver be good for many years. after making love i think of my soulmate and felt sad..

I'm not sure what this means. Sex with your husband is good? Not good? Spoiled because your husband is only your Best Friend and not your Soulmate?

I get the feeling, you'd like your husband to sorta, kinda, like-you-know, vanish and then you and your Soulmate (and perhaps his child and your daughter) would all drift into the sunset.

Before the romantic ending there will have to be a lot of nitty-gritty details worked out.

Do you want to stay married to your husband? Does he want to stay married to you? If you were single, would your Soulmate marry you?

Do you plan to seek custody of your daughter? Is your husband likely to fight you for custody? Would your daughter have to change school districts? Make new friends?

Why did you open this thread? What is your question?

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I find it very interesting that people start threads like this, get all kinds of comments then disappear.

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Jake--

People gather up their courage, post an intimate question of strangers and wait for feedback. Then they realize that the strangers on the internet forum are not nearly as kind and sympathetic as the voices in their own heads.

She'll be back--or she won't.

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I know. I was kinda poking fun at myself.

I got hammered pretty good when I posted on a similar subject. I'm not done with it either. But I did choose to disappear for a little while.

I am getting frustrated that I have not been deemed worthy of p.m. privelages by the gods of A2K

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my soulmate

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