dagmaraka wrote:It is a choice to some extent. You have to "allow yourself" to love in the first place. Be emotionally open to that possibility in the first place...but that's a pretty deep choice that we don't often articulate in our consciousness.
Some years back I've read a study on success of arranged marriages and 'love' marriages. Turns out that the partners we choose and partners our parents would choose are pretty darn close. And that the social/cultural compatibility has a lot to do with success of the marriage, so that ultimately it doesn't matter all that much how the marriage started.... or something along those lines. It was very very interesting, though I wouldn't have any clue where to look for it now.
This is really interesting to me. Especially about social/cultural compatibility leading to success in a marriage to such a large degree.
Always been intrigued by arranged marriages. There seems to be a lot about them that "works" and satisfies a lot of the needs that we - we being us who generally are just thrown out into the world and told to find our own mate however we see fit, whether we have the tools to do that or not - struggle so bad to have satisfied.
Leading of course to all sorts of breakups and cheating etc.
I'm curious about the exact "compatibility factors" that play such a large role.
I know, Dag, you'd have no idea where to find that article now. Just throwing the question out there for anyone who may know and want to pipe up!
BTW; totally agree about love being a sneaky little devil. That's part of the fun, isn't it.
. That's a choice, see. Some people don't let themselves.... but like i said, that is a choice we don't make consciously.
