Husband Problems

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Well my husband and I have been married now for 12 years (been together for 14) We have 2 beautiful kids (son 12 daughter 9). My husband is 32 and I'm 30. I guess what my problem is is how do u get your husband to communicate better? I have such a hard time getting my husband to talk to me about anything besides work or sports. I want us to be able to actually sit down and have a conversation like 2 adults are supposed to be able to do. If things get too serious he either clams up,yells and screams,or makes jokes. It drives me insane! I remember when he and I were first dating and we could talk on the phone for hours and he would write me really lovely letters and poems now I have a hard time getting him to make out a grocery list!

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Well hopefully someone out there can relate and give me some advice. I miss adult conversation..

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Well, blondie, I guess he's just being a man. All of this does not sound new to me - although I have to say my husband does speak in whole sentences from time to time.

But from my own experience and what I hear from my friends - this is the way it goes for many relationships. I think men are just not like women in this respect.

So for adult conversation - I have my female friends - oh, and male friends, too. They speak if you are not their wife...

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Blondie--

Are you sure you want "adult conversation"--or are you looking for a Devoted Listener? Frequently women with children ache for someone who will really, truly listen to them.

Do you think your intellectual world has expanded during your marriage? Has your husband's intellectual world contracted? Does he have interesting conversations with other people?

Do you and your husband make time for doing anything--not just talking,but anything--together without the kids?

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Noddy24 wrote:

Blondie--

Are you sure you want "adult conversation"--or are you looking for a Devoted Listener? Frequently women with children ache for someone who will really, truly listen to them.

My husband listens most of the time...thats the problem. He listens to me talk but doesn't become a part of the conversation.

Do you think your intellectual world has expanded during your marriage? Has your husband's intellectual world contracted? Does he have interesting conversations with other people?

He does the yep and nope thing with most people. He's very intelligent it's just that sometimes I think he's too tired to bother.

Do you and your husband make time for doing anything--not just talking,but anything--together without the kids?

Not really because he works soooo much that the only days he has to spend with us is saturday and sunday. Do u think that we should make more time 4 that/

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Blondie--

Do I think you should make more time to spend with your husband?

You would know better than I would, but I say, "Absolutely".

At least once a month, plan a Date Night.

No wonder your husband's conversation is restricted--so is his life.

Good luck.

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sorry that came out wrong. I meant 2 say how do we make more time? It seems like he feels guilty 4 not being around 4 the kids so i think thats why he wants 2 take them with us everywhere. I miss my husband.

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Blondie--

Can you get a sitter one or two nights a month?

Or get out to dinner in the neighborhood in daylight hours with the kids keeping an eye on themselves? Cell phones mean you're never far away.

Right now his life is work and family--don't you want to flirt with him again?

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Most definatly! I will have 2 do that. I guess that the longer ur married the more romance takes a backseat. We will just have 2 make it more important. I know that he probally feels the same way, even if he doesn't say so.

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Blondie--

Keep us posted. The Revival of Romance is much more fun to read about than the dreary details of divorce.

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Noddy24 wrote:

Blondie--

Keep us posted. The Revival of Romance is much more fun to read about than the dreary details of divorce.

And it's a whole lot cheaper to keep one another Blondie. Take the best advise that your getting, divorce is hell. Not so much as for you and your husband but for the kids that will be cast into the middle of a pit of cruelty.

Rectifiy any part of your marriage that you can salvage. Do make some time for yourselves without the kids. :wink:

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Remember Johnny Taylor's old song "It's Cheaper to Keep Her". I think it applies to "keeping him" as well.

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I am glad to hear you say that, as I have been facing a problem of custody from my cheating ex wife for over a decade. Of course she denied it and lied to the courts for over a decade. the courts allowed this and she's gotten away with it.
So Blondie, you see that what we tell you comes first hand from the school of hard knocks. I begged my ex wife to go to counseling, she refused to go and then filed for divoce after she had already cheated for over 2 months time. Take the time to be close to your other half.

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Too bad you didn't have proof. Like photos or receipts or something.

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I do have a copy of the news paper where they both worked for at the time and they were both robbed at gun point on the local bridge. I go a call from my employer who told me of the event while i was away on work in another state. I was also told by her boss that she was cheating on me, late one night. Rolling Eyes

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