past/present tense

These sentences indicates the passage is past tense so we should continue the passage in the past tense or change our structure.

you may indeed wish today, but your sentence is mainly in the past tense. You need to change your sentence structure to indicate a more present tense.

"Even today we all wish.." we still wish...

so, no the verbs are incorrectly used. "wished" and "could" read easier for me.

also note Dad would often say........

Can't agree, dadpad. (Where do you get these ideas from?)



Up to here, Yoong Liat has been describing events that took place in the past, on "that Friday evening". Next, he comments that as a matter of continuing habit, Dad will often say things about Aunt Maggie. This the correct tense to use. Then he remarks that "we" all wish (now, in the present) that one day they can (future) get back at her.

Nothing wrong with any of that, dadpad.

The only thing I would do is move the last two sentences. Thus the past and present are more clearly separated into two paragraphs.

That Friday evening, my aunt Maggie came over to our house for dinner. She even brought along gifts for our family. After she had given my parents, Rachel and me each a watch, my mother thanked her profusely, saying the watches were the perfect gifts for our family. I noticed Dad rolling his eyes then. As expected the price tags of the watches were still there. I was utterly shocked when I saw that the watch cost ninety-nine dollars!

Behind her back, Dad will often say, "See if she loses all her wealth one day!" We all wish that one day, we can get back at her.

Some points for Yoong Liat that are just my own opinion...

As expected the price tags of the watches were still there. I was utterly shocked when I saw that the watch cost ninety-nine dollars!

That family sounds like a bunch of mercenary creeps who don't deserve any presents at all. Yoong Liat, do you live in a world where a gift of a $99 watch is considered insulting trash? Or is it just example text?

Ninety-nine dollars is fifty quid near enough! Given that my watch cost me fifteen quid seven years ago, and is still going strong, (3rd strap, 3rd battery) if my aunt gave me a fifty quid watch, I'd say, "gee, thanks Auntie!"

If the price tags were expected, why were you "utterly shocked" to see them and the prices marked on them? I thought you all knew what Aunt Maggie was like?

Avoid hyperbole. One is "utterly shocked" to see one's whole family murdered in front of one, or to see a whole town destroyed by an earthquake, or to be arrested for murder, not by seeing a $99 price ticket on a watch from Auntie.

"the watch"... which watch? Your watch?

Use exclamation marks ("exclamation points") very sparingly indeed.

"my aunt Maggie"... you correctly spell aunt with a small a here, but note that when the word "aunt" is used as part of a name is takes a capital A...

The doorbell rang. I opened the front door and saw Aunt Maggie.

Thanks. Contrex, for your comments.