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Is This A Proper Act of Friendship ?

 
 
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 11:44 am
This a variation on a recent thread of mine:

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=101388&sid=3c10aa3efb316ae996c9e662691b9e4e

In that thread, I mentioned an ex-girlfriend of mine, Marilyn,
whom I rescued from destitution in the 1970s, when she lost her condominium to debt.
She had been an outstanding quality executive secretary; a real Crackerjack.
( I have this on good authority. )

Marilyn was shy and bashful, in the extreme,
( unless she knew u ).
Her M.D. accidentally therapeutically addicted her to Valium,
to relieve her shyness.
From that, she got into recreational drugs, resulting in her economic downfall.

She lived with me on 2 different occasions,
the second being with her daughter ( aged 2 to 4 ),
who is not geneticly related to me.
She was on Welfare home relief.

After consuming most of a pint of 100% proof rum, to augment her Valium,
she told me one morning that she was going to collect her welfare payment
and then go on to a crack house to enjoy the benefits of its inventory.
It was her intention to take her daughter Nancy with her.

I considered this to be a dangerous situation
for the motoring public of NY, as well as to Marilyn and Nancy.
My efforts to get her to reconsider were unsuccessfully futile.

I told her that I wud not let her leave the house,
in these circumstances. I stood in the doorway.
She threatened to call the police.

I invited her to use the fone, freely available,
to explain to the police that she wanted to put her 4 year old child
next to her in her car, after drinking 3/4 pint of rum,
with an expired driver 's license and expired insurance,
for a shopping expedition to a crack house,
and that old meanie is standing in her way.

For some reason, she did not accept that invitation.
Instead, she threatened violence, to liberate herself.
In the execution of her threat,
she grabbed her radio, the size of a shoe box,
and bopped me on the head with it; ineffective.

Then she relaxed, gave up, and calmed down.

Was it a proper act of friendship
for me to obstruct her departure ?



Was I morally rong ?



David
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TTH
 
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Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 12:12 pm
IMO you did the right thing in not letting her leave.

My question to you is what kind of friend are you when you know she is addicted to a prescription
drug, drinking alcohol and to top it off still mixing all this with recreational
drugs while she is living with you?
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 12:24 pm
U mean I shud have evicted her ?
0 Replies
 
TTH
 
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Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 12:34 pm
No, that is not what I mean. It is your house, correct? If so, why do you allow alcohol to be in your house?

So, you don't want her to drive and endanger herself, her child or anyone else but, you allow alcohol in your house knowing she is taking drugs?
The mixture of drugs and alcohol can kill a person and you are concerned about her safety?
0 Replies
 
dyslexia
 
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Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 12:43 pm
Those with Asperger's syndrome often display a form of perseveration, in that they focus on one or a number of narrow interests.
0 Replies
 
TTH
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 12:46 pm
dyslexia wrote:
Those with Asperger's syndrome often display a form of perseveration, in that they focus on one or a number of narrow interests.
I never heard of Aspergers syndrome before and have no idea what it is.
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dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 12:50 pm
Asperger's Disorder is a milder variant of Autistic Disorder. Both Asperger's Disorder and Autistic Disorder are in fact subgroups of a larger diagnostic category. This larger category is called either Autistic Spectrum Disorders, mostly in European countries, or Pervasive Developmental Disorders ("PDD"), in the United States. In Asperger's Disorder, affected individuals are characterized by social isolation and eccentric behavior in childhood. There are impairments in two-sided social interaction and non-verbal communication. Though grammatical, their speech is peculiar due to abnormalities of inflection and a repetitive pattern. Clumsiness is prominent both in their articulation and gross motor behavior. They usually have a circumscribed area of interest which usually leaves no space for more age appropriate, common interests. Some examples are cars, trains, French Literature, door knobs, hinges, cappucino, meteorology, astronomy or history. The name "Asperger" comes from Hans Asperger, an Austrian physician who first described the syndrome in 1944.
0 Replies
 
happycat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 12:59 pm
dyslexia wrote:
Asperger's Disorder is a milder variant of Autistic Disorder. Both Asperger's Disorder and Autistic Disorder are in fact subgroups of a larger diagnostic category. This larger category is called either Autistic Spectrum Disorders, mostly in European countries, or Pervasive Developmental Disorders ("PDD"), in the United States. In Asperger's Disorder, affected individuals are characterized by social isolation and eccentric behavior in childhood. There are impairments in two-sided social interaction and non-verbal communication. Though grammatical, their speech is peculiar due to abnormalities of inflection and a repetitive pattern. Clumsiness is prominent both in their articulation and gross motor behavior. They usually have a circumscribed area of interest which usually leaves no space for more age appropriate, common interests. Some examples are cars, trains, French Literature, door knobs, hinges, cappucino, meteorology, astronomy or history. The name "Asperger" comes from Hans Asperger, an Austrian physician who first described the syndrome in 1944.



Dyslexia - What does Asperger's have to do with this thread?
(before you start to diagnose someone on here, first know that my daughter is diagnosed with Asperger's and you are way off base, as there are so many various degrees of it)
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TTH
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 01:00 pm
Well now at least I have heard of it. Thanks for the explanation.
How does this relate to the topic of the thread though Confused
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Montana
 
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Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 01:08 pm
You did the right thing, David.
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ehBeth
 
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Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 01:10 pm
Too little, too late.

You're a sad excuse for a friend, David.
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happycat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 01:13 pm
Yes David, I think you did the right thing.... for that moment. It's not something that you would be able to do repeatedly.
So, whatever happened to her and Nancy?
0 Replies
 
TTH
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 01:16 pm
ehBeth wrote:
Too little, too late.

You're a sad excuse for a friend, David.
Why would you say something like this?
0 Replies
 
happycat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 01:19 pm
ehBeth wrote:
Too little, too late.

You're a sad excuse for a friend, David.


Why in the world would you say that??? He gave her and her daughter a roof over their heads and food to eat. She threw it all away.
What more is he obligated to do?
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 01:20 pm
I'm thinking there's something we may be missing Confused
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TTH
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 01:29 pm
Montana wrote:
I'm thinking there's something we may be missing Confused
I tend to agree.

happycat we seem to think alike on this topic.
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 01:32 pm
TTH wrote:
ehBeth wrote:
Too little, too late.

You're a sad excuse for a friend, David.
Why would you say something like this?


Read your own posts. I'm echoing what you posted, but more directly.
0 Replies
 
TTH
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 01:42 pm
ehBeth, with all due respect, I don't agree. I don't know OmSigDAVID, so I am not saying he is a sad excuse for a friend and it is too little too late. That was the purpose of my questioning what kind of friend he is. Maybe it never occurred to him what mixing alcohol and drugs can do. People do that all the time not realizing it can kill you.
0 Replies
 
squinney
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 01:49 pm
If I recall, David is a member of Mensa and would certainly know the dangers of mixing substances.

I'm guessing that his train of thought is something like: She's an adult. She is responsible for her own actions. I can stop her from harming a child, provide a roof to know she is okay that way, but there is a line ....

Or something like that.
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OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Aug, 2007 03:14 pm
TTH wrote:


Quote:
No, that is not what I mean. It is your house, correct?

Yes.





Quote:
If so, why do you allow alcohol to be in your house?

I don 't have strong feelings about alcohol.
She was never an alcoholic,
but she drank a lot sometimes.




Quote:

So, you don't want her to drive and endanger herself,
her child or anyone else but, you allow alcohol in your house knowing
she is taking drugs?

Yes; Valium.





Quote:

The mixture of drugs and alcohol can kill a person
and you are concerned about her safety?

She was a long term Valium addict,
and had a great deal of experience with it.
She also drank a lot, occasionally,
tho she was only addicted to Valium, not to alcohol.

By the time that she moved in with me,
she had combined them, without ill effects,
before she lost her condominium, for quite a while.
She lived independently for quite a few years,
with free access to Valium and to alcohol.
I knew her for several years, before she lost her condo
and moved in with me.

At some point, she had an emergency
which rendered her distraught: her M.D. perished,
and with him, his Rx.

She was despondent, until in time, she replaced him with a few other M.D.s
and re-established her connection.
In the meantime, in her desperation,
she visited some NYC parks at nite,
where apparently some pharmacists have evening hours.

She called me on the fone, and complained of getting robbed,
a couple of times. I was not and am not able to keep anyone
from visiting the parks of NY. During her Valium famine,
she found that, to some extent, alcohol cud and did support the effects
of the little Valium that she was able to get.

When she became my guest, it did not occur to me
to try to prevent her from getting rum; I do not run a prison.
I do not stop people from coming and going freely.
I am a l'aissez faire libertarian hedonist.
( I also have never taken non-medicinal drugs. )
The alcohol that she drank was her own property.
Re-iterating, we both knew, from her long term experience,
that combining her Valium with alcohol never had any ill effects on her,
nor any discernible effect on her.

I have a long history of treating my friends with a spirit
of l'aissez faire libertarianism.

My obstruction of the doorway was a unique exception.
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