Should I feel guilty?

You're not kidding, Noddy. That's the setup for a weak and spineless child and a selfishly demanding parent.

i agree but unklike eoe I think the kid is more likely to run away turn into a rebel and come to a bad end

Well, you guys nailed it! The person who made the comment about "never being able to leave her kid" was one of the "Super Mom" types. She brags about the fact that she takes her children everywhere with her, including places that I feel are inappropriate. She is not a close friend, actually just a co-worker, but the comment still shook me up a little.

I also agree with Nooby (i think that's the s/n...sorry). One of the reasons her father and I ended up divorcing was our huge contrast on parenting styles. The pregnancy wasn't planned, in fact because of our different upbringings I never really wanted to have children, I knew it would be a disaster. She is, of course, the biggest blessing in my life, and I never regretted having her, but I did regret having her with a man who shared absolutely NONE of the same values and ideas on parenting as I. He felt I should drop everything and spend 100% of my time playing and pacifying her. Didn't believe in her playing independently, called me a bad mother for wanting time to clean house or even cook dinner. Saying that I should incorporate her into those things (which is a good idea sometimes, but we all know NOT possible every time). Anyway, these arguments for the first two years of her life are probably one reason I do much second guessing. I read every book there is to read on parenting, go to millions of message boards, even took a child psychology course, so I feel like I am pretty well informed and have a solid understanding on the type of parent I want to be. All I can hope for now that we are divorced, is that the influence I have on her will stick and that she will remember that Mommy and Daddy love her very much, and what flies with Dad, won't always necessarily fly with Mom....even at three she is understanding more and more. I know for sure I am a better, more relaxed Mommy. I never got to bond with her until now...because I always felt pressured to do it a certain way...now that I can be myself and connect with her in a more natural way, it's almost as if I'm a new person. I am very happy and I hope that one day my daughter will understand what happened and why...or at the very least know that it wasn't her fault.

Eeek. Wow. Sorry to hijack my own thread...haha. Thanks for listening if you did. I feel better every time I get something like that out for some reason. Take care and enjoy your weekends!!

way to go girl!

good weekend to you and start packing for the beach house!

I'm with the others. You sound like a great mom, but even moms need to take out the woman every now and again.
Baby will be having a blast with Daddy and mommy can have one too.

Have a great time and welcome to A2K :-D

Thank you massmutual...I am packed and ready to GO!

Nooby.

Thank you Montana. I am feeling more confident every day.

Thanks for the welcome...

I've been called much worse--perhaps with good reason. "Nooby" has no malice attached.

I know. That's why it's funny.

It's like when people here mistakenly refer to me as oeo. I know it's a typo but, doesn't it sound like the chanting guards at the Wicked Witch's castle in The Wizard of Oz?

YES - that is the first thought I had when I saw oeo.

of course you would, you evil queen!

Hey I resemble that remark

Funny that there is a Wizard of Oz discussion going on, that happens to my daughters FAVORITE movie. We watch it nearly every day, seriously. Haha!

Sorry for the s/n mix up too...honest mistake, honestly ;-)

What's in a name?