Yeah, yeah, this does sound a lot like my friend "Kathy".
She's had some major problems relating to her family -- in part because they thought she was acting this way "on purpose" because her "accident happened so long ago". I think it's great that you recognize that maybe her behavior is related to the accident and injury she had.
Since I've known Kathy she has recieved her medical marajuana card and it has helped her tremendously.
Truly a sad story, i say suck it up, realise that the more you force your sister to acknowledge she could be defective, the more depressed she will feel.
I agree with the advice on meeting her for shorter periods of time more frequently.
If she has facial scars, as a woman im sure this has severe effects on her self-esteem, she could have bad depression and fights to seem normal which is stressing her out leading to even more mental problems. Or she could be trying to change but its not possible due to the injury, which would add frustration on top of all the **** thats happened to her already.
PUT YOURSELF INTO HER SHOES IN EVERY WAY IMAGINABLE
Now, what would you want other people to do?
-Criticize you for behavior you might not even know is wrong and leave you alone in possible depression.
Or
-Be there for you and provide comfort regardless of whatever is wrong with you.
But you could also sever attachment to her and not have to deal with it at all. Put yourself in her shoes, I would do as little to bring attention to the injury or events, especially if she has scars. unless they are miniscule.
If she knows her behavior is wrong its one thing, but if she doesnt it could be a horrible experience.
Quote:Be there for you and provide comfort regardless of whatever is wrong with you
This is my overall belief. But it is so hard to be with her when she is inappropriate or manic.
Re: Marty
BumbleBeeBoogie wrote:Marty, a suggested different approach to your sister. Instead of describing her as depressive or having a mental illness, you might want to try a routine physicial exam instead of a "loony" exam.
Suggest that she needs to see a Neurologist as a follow up to her brain concussion to learn if anything was missed in her original examinations and any changes that might have occurred. Stress that routine exams are a normal process for all patients and her follow up exam is overdue.
This might not be so threatening to her.
More info:
http://healthgate.partners.org/browsing/LearningCenter.asp?fileName=96747.xml&title
BBB
Good suggestion. I have to say though that my sister is a very intelligent person as far as book smarts go. She works in a hospital and has some medical knowledge. I'll ask her soon in casual conversation if she's been in for a routine exam.
JPB wrote:Doesn't boomerang have a thread going about her neighbor with similar circumstances?
I'll see if I can find it...
Have you told your kids about her accident? It might make it easier for them to accept her behaviors as part of a 'condition'. I know that teens are easily embarrassed but they tend to be mostly embarrassed about what their friends might think. It's hard though to think of their vacation as the time when they're on guard constantly and dread what might be coming next. Can you split the time you spend on the trip? Maybe a day or two with your sister and then go somewhere else where it would be more fun for them?
I did explain things to the kids but I won't make them spend another week long trip with her exclusively. maybe a trip back home to visit everyone.
It's always difficult to open a dialogue on a person's medical needs, but moreso when there is a cognitive impairment. The very organ that we use to make decisions is the one that is affected by the malady.
In 37 years, I imagine that diagnosis and treatment have advanced.
