Obsessive and Afraid to lose him.

hmmm... I don't think your describing anything which is unnatural, however, I don't think it's healthy.

What are your ages? The relationship you describe seems very juvenile in many ways. That's not an insult, I'm just curious.

What kinds of hobbies do you have? You meantioned RP. Do you still RP now that you have your BF? Do you ever RP alone, or is it something that you only do together?

I'm hesitant to offer advice, but something that might help you (not nessisarily fix anything) is to find activities to do that you find pleasing when he is away. If you are at work, challenge yourself to be very productive. If you are at home, engage in an activity such as art. Perhaps even make art as a gift for him. this allows you to focus your thoughts on him, without actually calling/emailing him etc. Since you seem worried that you are being intrusive, this could help.

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Easy - come and spend a night with me....then you can find out whether you are obsessed over him. Easy.

Honey_rose--

What do you do that you enjoy besides adoring this man? You need a hobby.

If I might be so presumptous as to suggest a hobby, find a gym ^^. Excercise does wonders for your perspective. Studies show that individuals who excercise 3 times a week (for a duration of 30-45 minutes) gain enhanced confidence, resiliance toward stress, discipline, and an overall better outlook on life. Some experts even suggest that physical excercise may be a key to treatment of many mental health problems ( bipolarism, depression, ADD/ADHD, OCD, even type 2 Diabetes). It can also help to regulate your sleep cycle.
Whether you'd like to tone up, slim down, improve cardiovascular performance, even help to fight heart disease, stimulate your immune system, or regulate hormonal levels, all of these can be accomplished through regular excercise ^^.

It seems that getting a hobby is a common treand in discussion here.

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I'd agree, but I'm scared of trying new things. There are so many different things I want to do as a regular thing. I was considering joining a ceramics studio again, but it's very pricey. But that does gives me the solitude I need to get on with something, whereas joining a sports club (like I wanted to join a hockey club) makes me feel horrible because everyone else isn't a newbie like me, so they'll be fitter and have loads of practice at playing.. I just can't stand starting new sports and being the new girl, even though I want to.. V.V

I'm thinking about joining the RAF again, so I really do need to get into shape. I'm skinny enough at the moment, but I get out of breath just running a quarter mile to the local rec...

I hate doing exercise so much because I hate being out of breath, it makes me panic.. <_<

Oh! Sorry for double posting I couldn't be bothered to move the mouse to click 'edit'

I'm 17 and he's almost 18. It is my longest lasting PROPER relationship so far, so it's the most serious I've been in. And he's never had a proper GF. I was the only girl he dated throughout secondary school. I think sometimes the way he treats me is immature, eg he hasn't had much experience with girls and the way they think.. And because it's my first serious relationship I'm kinda scared to lose it all, I want to make the most of our time together..

I wouldn't bother making anything for him. I've started before, and he just wouldn't appreciate it. He reads loads, so I was gonna make him a bookmark and when he found out what I was doing he made some comment and I just thought "F*ck it. If you're gonna be like that, I won't bother" and that's why I can't now

Well, an update. I finally got in contact with my BF today, just kinda rang his number to see if he'd put his phone on charge (it's been out of battery for over a week ) and he answered and I was like *shock* so I kinda chatted a bit.

Asked if he wanted me to go over there, because I haven't seen him for a few days now... and he said no, because it's his brother's birthday and they MIGHT be going out for a meal... (I obviously wasn't invited, although I know his family quite well) Oh well, I can get over that. So I said "Okay, when am I going to see you next then?" and he replied with "Uhhhh..... I don't know... I might be doing something this weekend, maybe, I'll let you know.." So I'm like... "Do you just not like spending time with me anymore?" and he's like "Uhhhh, I just think we've been spending too much time together, you're ruling my life etc etc" so I'm like... Oh, so you're not busy, you just don't want to see me..

So I'm silent for a bit, and he goes "You still there?" and I'm like "Yah." and he's like "I'm going to go now." so I'm like... f*ck this sh*t! Put the phone down... Rang him when I got home to ask what exactly he meant. And he did his usual "Urrrrr, I just think you're taking over my life, yadda yadda." and I'm like "Wait, you sit at home and do NOTHING. and when you're over here, I'm...stopping you....from doing that??" so he goes "I can't be bothered with this. Don't call again."

WHAT???!! I mean, I'm just trying to converse with him to find out exactly what he meant.. And he puts the phone down on me. With THAT ^ "Don't call again." I'm his damn GF, he said something hurtful and then I try to communicate and he says that? I mean... Jeez, way to hurt a girl..

Right, so anyway, I ring him back and tell him it was hurtful and I just want to know what he meant.. So he whinges a bit and says he'll ring tomorrow...

Basically, I don't get it. I don't FORCE him to come over to my house... In the past 6 or 7 weeks I've been and stayed at his house about 3 nights, 2 in a row and 1 single. It's not like I'm forcing myself on him, turning up uninvited and staying all the time.

We basically used to spend 24/7 together, then I got a job, and this is how it's been. I've rarely been over there and he's been over here, quite a lot, but only in the evenings sometimes and then gone home in the mornings.. Last week he stayed about 3 nights, 2 mornings of which he made the decision to stay asleep in my bed til late... So, I'm apparently making him come over and stay? He wasn't complaining... Not until he couldn't get thee sex. Then he prefers to spend time with his friends and basically ignores me.

ARGH! I am just so pissed off. He's basically made me feel like I've done something wrong over the past ages (he does that frequently, though I'm not sure he realises he does it) and then he blames me for stopping him from doing other things in his life?? I don't even know. I work almost every day, so it's not as if we see eachother most of the day almost every day....

just a question.

what will you do if he dumps you tomorrow?

I think you should realise that "love" is just chemicals reacting in the brain, i mean it might make life seem meaningless but it doesn't.
(you can get addicted if you give in to anything that makes you feel good)

You acknowledge you could be obsessive, thats fine. Its a good sign actually, admitting you have a problem, or at least noticing you have one

just expand your horizons, maybe get a pet ( that helped me, i cant lie i feel lonely after being alone for mere hours, my dog relieves alot of anxiety and depression just by being in the same house.

But dont take my word for it, you know inside if your being too obsessive, love is like any other good thing in life, too much can be addicting, and you have to limit yourself, BY yourself. noone is gonna help you overcome a personal problem like this.

But dont be afraid to talk to your friends, they will help alot more than posts on a forum

its all about self-control.

If he dumps me tomorrow I will probably cry a lot. I did last time, but he admitted it was his fault we broke up and it was because I was moody on the pill... So we got back together.

He got in contact with me today, by text, which ended up with a big gaping hole, so I called him. And we're on a weeks break, which is fine because I've got a week before the new pill I'm on kicks in, so we can make it a nice get-together.

Basically, I don't think we've actually sat down and talked together properly in ages, because seeing eachother became ROUTINE. So he said he forgot how nice it was just to chat about random things.. Basically, we're starting over when we get back to seeing eachother properly...

I have a cat. Doesn't really distract me... O_O

I know it's addictive, that's basically it, he's the only one that makes me feel good being me, so I want MORE of that all the time...

My friends are not really that close anymore.. The one that isn't on holiday at the moment is depressive and is still kinda upset over his break-up with his gf.. He's coming over tomorrow to watch DVDs and generally take my mind off things..

whatever, cool, as long as you dont kill yourself.

hospital wards are not a great place to meet guys.