Reply
Tue 31 Jul, 2007 08:33 am
I ended up letting one of my bridemaids go from the wedding party. She is a decent friend on mine that I met a year ago in one of my classes. The reason I did this is because she started canceling dates that we had set to go get fitted for her dress, dinners, coffee etc. I felt as if she was placing this "whatever" aside for something else. Almost as if she was telling me that being in my wedding was not that important.
I wrote to her in a email, because she would never answer or return my calls, and stated politely that I felt this wedding was a burden to her emtionally and financially. I didnt want her feeling traped into something she didn't want.
Well, now she really doesn't call me. I have only known her for a year, should I leave her alone, or continue like I have to keep that relationship open. I do like her. What would you do?
I think that you were put into an untenable position. Ideally, you should have discussed the issue with her in person. Since she was not returning your calls, you really could not do that, so you did the next best thing.
I think that the cost and time involved in being a bridesmaid is a lot to ask of a person whom you have known for only a year. It sounds to me like she agreed to be a bridesmaid, regretted her decision, and did not have the wherewithal to be frank with you.
If I were you, I would let it go for the time being. You have a lot more on your mind than this friend. At some time in the future, you might want to sit down and have a talk with her.
Is your friend in any way out-of-pocket for expenses for your wedding?
let her be, if you keep trying to contact her it will either
A irritate her
or
B make her more ashamed that she didnt want to be a bridesmaid
let her come to you on her own, its the only way.
I remember once reading in a Miss Manners type of book, that three declined invitations is the signal that more interaction is not wanted.
Hey, let her go.
You can't ever know what's in someone's mind or life at any given time.
The ball is in her court, not yours.
Don't take it personally. Things like this always happen when you put on a big event. Just roll with it and move on.
Feliciations on your upcoming nuptuals!
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace