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Tue 31 Jul, 2007 07:19 am
I am getting married in approx. 3months. I am very much in love with my future husband and I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with him. But I am having this delima were I am thinking about my some of my past relationships. Well, mainly just 2 of them and the men I was with. Almost like a what would have happened, I guess. I know that I am very lucky and have a wonderful man that wants to spend the rest of my life with, but is this normal to feel this way??? I am wanting to know if there are any woman or even men out there that have had these thoughts before???
P.S. These thoughts I am having are more or less just reminiscing.
It's probably more normal to think about these things than not.
Everyone has a little mental review before they leap into the foreverness of marriage
ok, now my next question is, what if one of those memories is still in your life in the form of a friendship, like strickly just a friendship. Someone that you talk to or text on a daily or just a weekly basis?
It all depends. Is the relationship really a friendship, or is it something else? Does your fiance know about this relationship? If he does, what are his feelings about it?
When I married my husband, I had a friend. Originally the relationship was an affair, but had turned into a deep friendship. I really wanted to continue it after I was married. Unfortunately I had opened my big mouth to my husband, so he knew that the relationship had started as an affair. He was very uncomfortable about the relationship. I spoke with my friend, and told him that I could no longer have contact with him.
Would I have liked to have kept up the frendship? Absolutely! That guy was THERE for me, when my life was at a really low point I always felt that I owed him. But I owed more to my husband. It was simply a matter of ordering my priorities.
If my husband had been less sensitive, I could have retained the friendship, but he wasn't, so I didn't.
He does know about the relationship. He feels somewhat uncomfortable just due to the fact that he has never kept a relationship with any of his ex-girlfriends because they have ended so badly. This wasn't the case in regards to the relationship I had with my so-called long distance ex. We just came to the realization that is wasn't going to work. I think that I am just over-evaluating the situation, and the fact that this is my second time being engaged doesnt help matters. I am just scared.
It is normal. But remember these words, you view your past through rose tinted glasses.
Is it worth it to ruin a good memory? or is the memory "worth it" for a reason?
Only you know what you want, and if you dont know, then you have your answer.
eatnpeaches79- Only you know the extent of the connection with the old relationship, and the strength of your fiance's feelings about it. With that knowledge, you need to think about making a decision.
True. I feel better talking about this. It helps getting different point of views and feelings from individuals I dont know. Everything happens for a reason.
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