I am no longer a derby virgin.

You were on a date with Joey Fatone?

Ha! I really screwed up that wording, didn't I. No, he was in the show.

Shame, as I've never had a virtual interaction with someone who went on a gay date with a celebrity I'd never heard of. I shall try my best to conceal the disappointment.

Ha!

I had to read that sentence a few times to get the meaning myself!

This is how rumors get started. We'll probably see Kicky on the cover of People magazine next week.

Actually the date was with Lance from Nsync - they went to see his buddy the Fatone in the show.

Either way poor kicky didn't get nookie.

American Football. Soccer (proper football) I like to watch occasionally.

I went to church once.

That will never happen again.

Was the confession booth occupied?

I considered going into a confessional that day but I figured thirty years would be too long in such a small compartment.

Here's one for boomer's list: I witnessed an autopsy one time while outside, across the street, a monster truck rally was in full gear.

I kid you not. It was a bit surreal watching the scalpel do its business as the sounds of roaring engines penetrated the walls.

You're right, what's the point, there would be no absolution for you anyway.

absolutely

Okay, okay. I've been to a lot of churchs on a one time only basis just to spend time with someone I love.

But an autospsy? An autopsy across the street from a monster truck rally? Just to spend time with someone I love!?

Truly I am a child who has never known real love.
















< I need a drink..... >

it's possible that gus is a necrophiliac

while you're having that drink boomer, there's a song playing for you on WA2K

That was her job, boomer. I actually spent a good amount of time in that morgue while I was dating her.

I'll have to start a thread about that sometime.

At one of the lower points in my life I met a strawberry blond who liked to talk and talk and talk and talk mostly about est. Actually, hardly anything else but est. But she was pretty and pretty smart, two things that appealed to me throughout my life but especially at that particular time. I was in a dead end job, was about sixty pounds overweight with a bad haircut and living in a tiny apartment. I had about two friends in the whole word, both of whom owed me money.

The blond announced one Monday that she needed to go to Kansas City on Friday morning early for a job interview and she needed a ride. I think the marks are still on the sidewalk from where I lept at the chance to do something of importance to someone and (I say this with a nod to Kicky : I was hoping to get some nookie out of the deal.) and get out of town. I took the day off from work (blech) and we started out from Tulsa at just after four in the AM. We arrived at our destination about eight thirty and that was when the truth arrived as well.

The job she was interviewing for was to be the est Forum co-ordinator for Kansas. Not Kansas City, all of Kansas was to be her domain. Wowsa. She was there with what looked to me like seven or eight hundred other applicants and, of course, only they could go into the hotel ballroom where the interviews were taking place. Would I wait right there and not go away because how would she find me??? (no cellphones back then).
Okay. I'll wait. (I wondered if she was really a strawberry blond.)

I got a comfortable seat on a sofa in the hotel hallway.

It was very comfortable, very, for about the first three hours, then I began to get a little chaffed. I read the paper. I did the crossword. Then I read the paper again, this time trying to read every single solitary word, even the want ads. I did the JUMBLE. I read the chess article and tried to imagine the pieces on the board. (I couldn't)

I dashed down to the hotel's bar as soon as it opened at noon. I ordered food - a burger and a scotch- gulped it all down and raced back to my station with a fresh newspaper. Do you know how many articles in a daily paper are exactly like the ones in the other daily papers? Lots.

Oh. Did I mention that no one came out of the hotel ballroom door? That's right. No one. At least for the first six or seven hours no one. Right about five o'clock a small group of ladies emerged followed by a trio of rather odd looking men -- tight black suits with cream colored socks-- who were carrying large boxes of what looked like video tapes. Then nothing.

It got dark outside. I had learned to make the round trip to the men's room by the check-in desk in less than two minutes. The bartender and I had made a deal, starting about four o'clock, every half hour or so he would put a Johnnie Walker and ice on the end of the bar. I would come dashing by, drop a ten on the bar, gulp it and dash back to the indention of my behind on the sofa. (No one was allowed to drink in the halls of the hotel.) He didn't charge me for a couple of them. I ordered a second hamburger at seven o'clock.

At a quarter to nine the doors opened and everyone poured out into the hallway. They looked like they had been through some horrible ordeal, faces drawn, eyes puffy from crying, clothes hanging limp off their limbs.
I caught a glimpse of the blond as she walked towards the check-in desk. I thought she might be looking for the ladies room, so I started folding papers and picking up some of my mess.

She didn't come back.

I waited for a half hour, but there was no sign of her. I asked at the desk about her. They said she asked if there were any messages for her.

I walked to the car. She was in the front seat asleep. I got in and started the engine. It was 9:30PM. We were at her apartment complex in Tulsa just before 1am.

I woke her. She was surprised to be home.

She said she was so grateful and got out of the car and walked up the stairs to her apartment.

I guess she got the job because I called her work on Monday and she hadn't come in that day. A few days later I left a "how are you" message on her machine and a few days after that the phone was disconnected.

Joe(I haven't a clue what happened to her after that.)Nation

I remember hearing about EST.





So glad I missed it.





Osso(wild horses couldn't drag me)buco

Awww. That was sweet djjd! I feel much more my normal self now after having a drink and a dance around.

Jeez, Joe. I'm dying to know what happened at that meeting and what happened to that girl. That was a really bad date.

What we do for love.

Joe(or lust, or something)Nation