Whale Recipes - Post Yours Here!

http://www.highnorth.no/library/Culture/Recipes/no-wh-me.htm

Barbecued Narwal.

First, build 30ft reinforced brick barbecue. (N.B. This may require planning permission)

Pre order 2.5 tonnes of good quality charcoal. Keep in dry place.

Recipe.

Ingredients.

One medium sized Narwal.
Two pinches of black pepper.
One bouquet garni.
One teaspoon extra virgin olive oil.


Instructions.

Load charcoal into place and light.

Make sure Narwal is properly dead, as it may get a bit annoyed otherwise.

Arrange for small truck with winch to load Narwal onto reinforced brick barbecue.

Insert bouquet into conveniently placed blowhole.

Coat with olive oil and sprinkle with pepper.

After making sure that area is clear of potential fire hazards, go away on a road trip for three weeks until cooked. If you prefer your Narwal medium rare, cut three days off trip.


Serve with a green salad, lightly drizzled with vinaigrette.

Whale Stew
Ingredients:
1 (105 ton) Whale
1896 lbs Onions
7326 lbs Potatoes
1908 gallons Tomato Sauce
2276 lbs Carrots
927 lbs Celery
104 lbs Salt
76 lbs Black Pepper
52 gallons Tabasco Sauce


Directions:
Place whale in pot with tomato sauce. Cook at 300 degrees for 4 hours. Add onions, potatoes, carrots, celery, salt, pepper and Tabasco sauce. Simmer 36 hours. Serves 347,161 people.

on't forget the Red Lobster's Whale Fest.... always a treat....

How to Cook a Whale Found Dead

An old Kwakuitl recipe, as narrated in the Kwakuitl language by Elie Hunt and translated into English by her husband, George Hunt, circa 1908.




Most importantly, you cannot eat it all by yourself! So the first step is to call for a party and invite all your friends, relatives, and local dignitaries.

A special occasion, like the finding of a whale, calls for the use of ceremonial names. Though a hunter, a man, has found the whale, preparing food is women's work, and therefore the daughter of the hunter has the rights to prepare the whale. She is given the ceremonial name, Place-of-cutting-Blubber. Note that it is the daughter who has the rights, not the wife(s), due to the family rights in a matrilineal society.

Once everybody is ready, you bring tools, and the hunter who found the whale leads everybody in their canoes to the spot where he found it. The father of the hunter has the honor of speaking for the daughter of the hunter to "make a toast" for the occasion. It is customary to first declare how wonderful the whale is, being full of delicious blubber, etc.. Then you should give the choicest piece (the dorsal fin) to the ranking dignitary, who is typically the chief of the village.

Everybody else gets an equal size piece of the whale according to the order of their rank. The first piece starts at the whale neck, and they work from the top down and from the head to the tail. Generally the pieces are cut about a fathom (6 feet) in width. After the ceremonial pieces are given out, the women go to work to gather the remaining fat from the whale. The last step is cut off a piece of the tale of the whale.

When this is done, the pieces are loaded in the canoes, and everybody goes home to do the remainder of the preparation. The hunks of blubber are split into strips four fingers thick (two inches). These pieces are then cut into half inch strips.

A kettle of water is set to boil on the beach, and the strips are boiled to render the oil. The oil is ladled off and stored in watertight storage boxes. Whale oil is best stored in the corner of your house.

Then, you take cedar bark, and split it into long strips. Poke holes in the middle of the boiled pieces of whale blubber, and thread them onto the long strips of bark. When finish these strings of blubber are now called "tied-in-the-middle".

Dry these strips in the smoky rafters of your house for at least a month. When you want to eat some "tied-in-the-middle" take it down from the rafters, and boil it in a kettle until tender. This takes a lot of boiling. Be sure to eat it hot, because when it is cold, it is really tough. If you boil more than you can eat, you can dry it again, and reheat it later. This dish is called "eating boiled blubber tied in the middle", a real treat!

Deep Fried Beluga Whale

Ingredients:

One Beluga Whale, cut into 8 oz pieces.
250 gallons of Canola oil.
1050 pounds of beer batter dip

Heat oil in Presto Fry Daddy
While oil is heating
Dip each piece of Beluga Whale into beer batter deep and set aside.

Without overcrowding, fry several pieces of whale at a time, until golden brown, draining on paper towels.

sprinkle with dill before serving.
Serve with tartar or cocktail sauce, and a wedge of lemon.

Take 1 cj, wash until clean (may take a while) .
Cut its head off and let bleed thoroughly.
Soak cj meat in brine
Chop into killer whale bite size chunks
Find a pod of killer whales
throw chunks of brined cj to the whales, theyll love it.

TO SERVE MAN

But enough about whale. By far the most diabolical dish I've heard tale of in Tokyo has nothing at all to do with whales. It seems that in some restaurants, they will put live baby eels in a large bowl of water with a big block of tofu at the bottom. The bowl is heated, and as they become uncomfortably hot, the baby eels burrow down into the cooler tofu. There they are cooked alive, and served like an olive loaf. Any discussion of evil cuisine begins and ends with this recipe.

UNAGI MAKI

At least they're fully cooked. Some chefs serve fish and only deep fry the body, leaving the head alive to serve.

You joined Peta? Sounds like something they'd come up with. True, soulless, anti-human garbage.

anti whale, knuckle draggin doosh bag. Whats in your gullet you microcephalic turd. You cant be much of a conservationist if you post a stupid thread like this . Would you propose a mountain gorilla hunt or a white rhino hunt? Is Extinction a comedy to you?

I just asked for whale recipes.... don't have a calf...

That was pretty damned cruel FM . . .




. . . what have you got against Killer Whales?

I've just discovered that I can't delete an old post.

Have you ever wished that you had avoided some threads? Seemed funny at the time, sorry folks.

It was supposed to be humorous, until the Politically Correct Anti-Humor Police showed up....

Answer my question nimrod. WOuld you propose a mountain gorilla or white rhino hunt? If so why.
Is extinction a joke to you schmuck. ?

PC police, puhleeze. This is a free board,Im not reporting anything , Im just calling attention to the fact that you and your ilk are pretty much a bunch of trogs. There are some decent conservation minded hunters, you aint one of em.

I don't know about you, FM . . . first you want to give the Orca food poisoning, now you slander cave dwellers shamelessly . . . what's come over you?