Best Friend, Sister and Betrayal

I think, what you really need to do is:
Get on with your life.

If I understood this right:
8 years ago your friend went out with someone, who was interested in you, but you not in him.
And your friend did not tell you about it.

You both were in your 20s then, I suppose, your friend just did not know how to tell you, and wasn't sure how you'd react, so she did not say anything.
Your sister did not tell you either (but really, what was there to tell? you weren't even interested in the guy, so it's not as if your friend took anything from you!) and when you found out, you were hurt (how could he take her after he was actually interested in me, for heaven'S sake!!!).

How did you react towards your friend?

Could it be that your reaction then is part of the reason why your friendship has cooled afterwards?

Whatever it is or was!
Really: LET IT GO!
You don't need THIS particular friend.
There are billions of people in this world, and I am sure a few will be in your area AND be compatible with you!

LET IT GO!

Accept that your sister found a new friend and be happy for her!

GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!

From what I'm gathering you needed a safe place to vent , and that's a good thing - Let your Mothers Words ring through again " You will age better , if you just let it go " Great words from your mom and I myself wrote her words down , knowing I'll need to hear them again also

Re: Best Friend, Sister and Betrayal


I think you are.

Feeling betrayed by those you care for can cut like a knife. I've been on both sides, the betrayed and, according to another, the betrayer, in a situation similar to yours. But you move on and find forgiveness if the other party is important enough in your life. Not because they're supposed to be important, not merely because you're related, but because they really are important and you want to maintain the relationship.

Let it go.

HappyIsThis--

Welcome to A2K.

I have a feeling that both your friend and your sister have become scapegoats for something that really-really troubles you, quite possibly a deep-down part of yourself that you want to believe isn't there.

You know what you "should" do, but something is getting in the way of your common sense.

Forgiveness with conditions.....yall will love me.

Personally, you may find it worthless or not, but for myself I am finding that forgiveness has nothing to do with what you may or may not get out of the people afterwards.

You forgive to let yourself live. Nothing more. The people can be mean, nasty, whatever.
Sometimes the very people you forgive in your heart and in actions will be the ones to spit in your face. They may even get a windfall.

Why not just have it out with J once and for all? You still speak to her, so why not.
Just finish it.

You might find out what is really going on with you in the process. 'Cause I agree with Noddy. Something isn't working for you that has more to do with some old friend who isn't even really involved in your life like a friend now.

Just do whatever you have to to find out what that is.

Didn't know what kind of eggs you liked? Eh? Reminds me of something a young girl said to recently. She was laughing that her friend was upset at getting "leftovers she had dated first".

Just reminds me how much it seems true to me that people do reap what they sow. I'm all over the place here, but maybe is coming to bite you in the ass and this is your way of dealing with it without really dealing with it, y'know? Digging to the past to find someone else to point to and say "see, this is why it didn't work out for me here, it's cause people don't have my back!"

peace out.

Thank You
I would like to thank everyone who took the time to reply.
Some of the replies really resonated with me. The ones that were hard to swallow, probably indicate I still have some "working it out" to do. I hope I will have the courage to do all that is required to finally lay peace to this burden. Again, thank you very much for your honest observations... HappyIsThis.