i`m bit confused !

all i can say is that when it comes to choosing youth over experience, its a toughy

think2fast, welcome to A2K.

Personally, I think that if two people aren't entangled in other relationships then so long as they're both of age then they should have no impediments to getting together, and marrying if they wish to do so. But that's me, and I'm an American, and I can see where another culture and set of customs would be different.

If your family is concerned that you would not have children with an older woman (and don't kid yourself; fertility goes down after about age 30 or 35 and then of course after menopause it is nonexistent), you can (a) adopt and (b) begin trying immediately. That is, of course, if you want children. Not everyone does.

Another concern they may have is that they may feel that you have not given women of your own age enough of a chance. Have you? I mean, really. As in going out on more than one date with someone, trying to get to know them, etc. You don't need to take out every young single woman in your entire city or town but I think an effort is in order, just to be sure.

Another concern is a very valid one, that you would become a widower at a relatively young age. While women do live longer than men do, the average difference is less than ten years, which is less than the difference you're talking about. If this is their concern, then you should assure your family that, while you would be sad if/when you became a widower, that anyone can become bereft at any age. I have a cousin who became a widow when she was in her 20s. It can happen to anyone at any time. In any event, I suspect you're not interested in marrying a woman who is at death's door. A woman aged 45 can expect, in much of the world, to live for another 30 or more years, longer if she avoids major killers like cancer and heart disease.

The final objection that I can think of (and there may be more but I'm out of ideas) is a much harder one to shake. Your family may be more concerned with the women you are dating and their characteristics, aside from the age difference. Me, I'm 44, and even if I were single (no offense meant), I wouldn't dream of dating someone 20 years younger than me, let alone think of marrying him. It might be fun for a little while to go around town with a hot young guy as my escort (my husband is younger than me, and I still think he's hot, but you know what I mean), but in the end I think I'd have absolutely nothing to say to a much younger man, nor would he have anything to say to me. What would we talk about? What kind of shared experience could we possibly have? Before he was conceived, I was almost done with school. When he was in diapers, I was trying cases. When he started elementary school, I was running my own business. When he was in Junior High, I had bought a house. When he was in High School, I was getting into IT. Etc. etc. etc.

Essentially, to my mind, nearly any woman in my age group who has more than a passing interest in a much, much younger man is either (a) trying to capture her faded youth or (b) so immature herself that he's a peer to her. I suppose there are a few exceptions out there but I can't shake the image of the older woman with a gigolo and I suspect your family feels the same way.

If you fall in love, you fall in love. It's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart. But keep in mind that your family may have a point.

Thank you very much jespah ..!.. Well i alwasy have lisen to my parents in serios things.. and i think you are in the and right to !

Thanks alot. we`ll talk again ....




Ovidiu .

You're welcome.

I think it is fine - if you prefer older women and they prefer you and you are both consenting adults then it is no one else's business. Do what makes you happy. As far as children with an older woman, I had my first child at 35 and my second at 39 with no difficulty - women are having children much later in life and even so I think it is more important to find some one you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. Like other said there are other options like adoption which a friend of mine is doing as she had difficulty having children (which can occur with younger women as well).

A good friend of mine married a man over 12 years older than her - when they married he had grown children. They now have 2 young boys and even though he is in his 50s, they are very happy. Each person and individual is different - marry who you fall in love with.

when I was 21, I dated a woman who was 33. We had a lot of fun, but being in two very different stages in our life made it very obvious that we would not work forever. We split up and for what it's worth I'll say that the most profound thing about the relationship was how it ended.

No bitter fights.
No reckless emotional outbursts.

It was sincere, and very respectful. I remember thinking to myself that I had a lot to look forward to in life because she represented the notion that the caliber of woman would only get better in the years to follow.

We're still friends, and occationally we go out for a drink. We just don't sleep together anymore.

T
K
O

When I was younger I liked older women. Now that I'm older I like younger women. The sad thing is, the women I liked when I was young and the ones I like now are the same age.

Very interesting. Why do you think that is? Is this a pure sexual desire or do you have some fixation on that particular stage in a woman's life?

T
K
Oddly profound.

Interesting , i´m talking to my ex (39 years old) and we are very happy when we are hearing something from each other.! She´s a very nice Lady and a good friend ! (She is very special !)

Well ... what ca i say this is the Life !
I guess though if i would live by my self and in a country were the conception of life is more modern ! I would certainly see and have only what i like!. Well ... i guess here is the problem ! ....


thx all for your Post.


Think2Fast !! ...