Wed 6 Nov, 2002 08:06 am
This was sent me by Chris Gallagher, an old-time abuzzard with whom i've kept in touch. He's in London, so think in English English:
Man walks into a pub with a stork and a cat, steps up to the bar and orders a pint.
"I'll have a pint, as well," says the stork. "I'll have a half-pint, but i'm not paying!" says the cat.
The barman serves them, and says, "That'll be 9 pounds 50."
The man reaches in his pocket, and hands him exact change.
The next day, the man appears with his two animal companions again, and orders a glass of whiskey.
"I'll have a glass of whiskey, too," says the stork. "I'll have a half-glass, and i'm not paying!" says the cat. The barman serves them, and says, "That'll be 12 pounds 75." The man reaches in his pocket, and, without even looking, hands him exact change. The barman comments on his always having exact change, and the man heaves a big sigh. The barman asks him what the matter can be.
"Well, i found this old lamp, you see, and i was cleaning it up, out pops a genie. So, my first wish was that i would always have exactly the right amount of money to pay for anything i wanted."
"Very clever, you're better off than asking for a million quid, or such like--you're never broke. But i thought the old gag was that you always get three wishes."
"Yes, well, you do, but the genie was rather dense. He thought my second wish was two."
"What did you ask for?"
"A long-legged bird with a tight pussy."
er - Setanta - I know a MUCH naughtier version of that joke!