signing over my rights

You can contest the child's parentage by taking a test. If you are proven to be the father, by Texas law, you are bound to pay child support until the child has grown up.

If the child is biologically your child, it makes no difference if you do not want rights to the child. You still have duties to the child -- and one of those is the duty of support.

A child has the right to be supported by both natural parents -- it is against public policy / law for unwed parents to bargain away the child's right of support.

You cannot voluntarily relinquish your rights (or be relieved of your duties) unless you are asked to give your consent in order to make the child available for adoption.

You should research procedures in the state of Texas for establishing paternity. If a paternity and support case is brought against you, I'm pretty sure that you can initially deny paternity and request DNA testing. If the testing proves you're the father, you will be required to support the child.

I don't know a lot about this subject, but I do know that the above isn't always true in Texas. My sister-in-law, who lives in Texas, gave birth to a baby about 6 years ago and wanted to have the father's rights terminated. He was amenable, and he signed over his rights. She kept the child and has raised her as a single mother, with the assistance of her parents (the child's grandparents) who also live in Texas.

Just to say that even if testing proves that you are the father and the mother WANTS you to sign over your rights, you may have a chance at doing so without adoption being part of the picture.

(Does the mother want you to sign over your rights? I'm not clear on that. If no, if she wants child support from you, and you are in fact the biological father, I think you might be pretty stuck.)

Completely agree with advice to research procedures in Texas, though, and would advise you to talk to a lawyer.

My statement was based on the mother actually wanting the father to be involved, which he will be, barring a few circumstances such as Sozobe brings up; even if she doesn't want him involved, should the mother be in need of any kind of social or medical services the state will intervene on the child's behalf.

TPR



It may be true that your SIL obtained an affidavit of voluntary relinquishment of parental rights from her baby's natural father pursuant to § 161.103 of the Texas Family Code. However, the affidavit must state the name of the prospective adoptive parent. The purpose of the affidavit is for the natural parent to relinquish parental rights in order to make the child available for adoption and to waive procedural due process notice of the adoption proceeding.

Inasmuch as an adoption never took place (which is basically a fraud), the natural father is still on the hook for child support payments. Although the mother may or may not be equitably estopped from going after the father for PAST support due to this fraud, she may still go after him for present and future support.

Support is a right that belongs to the child. Even if the mother never seeks support from the father, the father's obligation accrues. The child, within a reasonable time upon reaching the age of majority, can sue the natural father for accrued past support. (Some states have established varying statutes of limitations, e.g., in some states, the action must be brought before the age of 21 or the action is barred.) Also, if the mother ever applies for state aid on behalf of the child, the State of Texas can go after the natural father for support payments.

The purpose of the Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) laws (in every state throughout the entire nation) is to make children legally available for adoption. TPR laws serve no other purpose. In order for a child to be adopted, the biological parents must either voluntarily relinquish their rights, consent to adoption, or a court must issue an order terminating the parents’ legal rights to the child.

I have read a couple of extremely rare cases wherein the mother has sought the termination of the father's parental rights when the purpose was NOT to make the child available for adoption and the court granted the petition -- but the granting of the petition was contrary to the law. When untangling the facts and law of these cases, it becomes most obvious that the laws were misapplied to achieve a result that the legislature never intended -- and the judge must have been intellectually asleep on the bench or just didn't care what he/she was signing.

Although the laws and procedures will vary from state to state (concerning the establishment of paternity, the establishment of child support orders, the termination of parental rights, and adoption) -- ALL STATES must comply with federal law in order to be eligible to receive federal funding for state aid programs.

The State of Texas receives hundreds of millions of dollars every year from the federal government to fund programs that benefit dependent children. Therefore, I am certain that Texas legislators have written all of their relevant laws in a manner that conforms with federal requirements under Title IV-D.

It's just NOT POSSIBLE under the "grand plan" in any state of the union for any natural father with a duty of support to voluntarily relinquish his parental rights in order to avoid the duty of support. And what the law doesn't allow people to do directly -- it doesn't allow them to do indirectly (even if they think they've found some "loophole" or a sleeping judge).

Your SIL may have worked out a deal with the natural father that she would never go after him for support if he signed a relinquishment of parental rights -- and that arrangement might "work" for them even though they have negotiated away the child's right to support and his right to know his father. This is contrary to the intent and the spirit of the law and it may backfire on them someday. Maybe not.

It appears that the child support enforcement agency in Texas (the state IV-D agency) is involved in Ahy's situation -- which indicates the mother is receiving state aid. Accordingly, she must assign her right to collect support payments from the father (on behalf of the child) over to the state of Texas and the state of Texas will go after Ahy -- most likely through a paternity and child support action. Under these circumstances, it's not possible for him to negotiate a side deal with the mother. The only way he may avoid paying support is if paternity tests prove that he's NOT the father.

Texas Family Code:
http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/fa.toc.htm

Sorry, I'm quite sure that's not the situation. I don't know details, and I'm just a person saying something so it shouldn't affect ahy one way or another -- I strongly encourage him to talk to a lawyer. But it was much more conclusively dealt with than you outline above.

ahy
The mother is requesting child support and if you are the father, you cannot sign over your rights unless someone else is willing to adopt the child. You can have a DNA test to prove whether you're the father or not, but if you refuse to take the test, you will automatically be considered the father and be required to pay support.
You may just be friends with the girl, but if you slept with her and she got pregnant, that doesn't make you any less responsible for the child as she is.
When you make babies, you can't just wipe your hands of them, simply because you don't want them.

True, Montana.

Yep.

This part, "Now she has sent a notice to me to appear in a conference for a child support review in Texas," does make it seem like she wants child support, which is her right, and as I said before, in that case I think you're pretty much stuck. Something to consider before helping to create the situation and all.

But talk to a lawyer if you want to be sure.

Talk to a lawyer is the best advice one could give.

Yep get a lawyer and either keep it in your pants or keep it coverd. If she was just intended to be a friend then maybe you shouldn't of slept with her. I'm sure you know how babies are made and when you lay with someone you should prepare for the outcome. Not try to weasel out of resposibilities. The only victim here is the child. It didn't ask to be born or to have irresposible parents. So if it is your child you should pay to help raise it as much as she should. If it turns out ot not be yours then I would consider yourself lucky and for gods sake be more carefull next time.

sooo wrong
Everytime I read posts like this it really gets me going. It's so unfair and completely sexist that because we carry the baby we get to make all the decisions and the men have to just open their wallet or life to whatever we decide. I don't know what the logic is in this law but for people to say well the girl didn't make the baby on her own so you guys have to buck up and take responsibility now just doesn't make any sense. If infact this logic is being used then guys should also have the right to partake in the decision of what to do with this surprise they both equally created. Women total abuse the system when it comes to this too because they know they have all the power in this situation and try to trap unsuspecting males. Guys usually aren't smart enough to be cautious and aware of girls like this and I really do feel bad for the poor men. Guys tend to live in the moment and worry about the other stuff later. neways what I was getting to was if they both did it, so their both responsible, then the guy should have a say in what they do with the baby as well, whether it is keep it, abort it, or put it up for adoption and if the parents can't agree on what to do with it then it's not fair for the child or them to try and raise it when one of them doesn't want it and forcing the parent to be responsible for something he'd rather give away. If a guy doesn't want it and he's not ready for such a commitment why shouldn't it be his right to choose. I was watching a movie the other day and this girl accidently got pregnant and she didn't want it she wanted to go to college and progress in her life without a child for the time being. So she put the baby up for adoption and the father did not want this but it was her right and if she didn't want it she could legally do this without the father's consent. Now how is that fair, the guy should have just as equal rights as the mother because they are equally responsible for creating the child are they not. So why shouldn't the father be able to sign the baby over for adoption if he doesn't want the responsibility regardless of how the mother feels and if she doesn't agree to this he should be able to walk away then and let her deal with it. Normally a man hasn't intentionally done something wrong when a mistake is made like this so why should he have to pay for it for the rest of his life regardless of how he feels about it when the mother has this option. Laws need to change, the way it is right now is completely absurd.
Just to let everyone know I'm not blind to the situation and feelings of having a baby with someone. I have a 6 month old baby and when I found out I was pregnant I thought very hard about whether this was the person I wanted to start a family with the guy I wanted to be the father to my children before I made the decision to keep it. Because how is it anyone's right to decide what a person has to do for the rest of their lives or be responsible for. We are supposed to be free to make our own decision, what a joke. I don't understand how girls can do this, take a man's life away from him unwillingly it's so cruel and malicious.

So, will you put that into paragraphs so some of us can or will be inclined to read and answer?

NO! I don't really care if people read it or reply to it. The whole purpose is to make yourself feel better when you vent on these things

What is really wrong is when you are married to someone for eight years, have one child with him and one on the way and some woman (a supposed friend only) from his past comes out of the blue eleven years later stating your husband is the father of her 10 year old daughter. That is rediculous. The woman never told your husband she was every pregnant and even left town. Now, all these years later when he is happily married, she can just find his contact information on the internet and tell him the news from eleven years ago and ask him to take a paternity test. What is this world coming to? It is so obvious from this that she didn't have the child's best interest. My husband loves children and now our family is emotionaly torn apart my this. I am supposed to be happy about my baby that is due next month. And, all I can think about it this crazy woman who suddenly obviously needs money or something and appears in his life. What rights do my husband and I have? He was denied knowledge of this child. And to be honest, I would have never gotten involved with him eight years ago had I known about this situation. I always had told myself that I did not want to marry a man with kids becasue there is too much drama involved. There are also too many men without kids to have to deal with unnecessary stuff. Can she legally take him to court after denying knowledge all these years and after attempting to break up a happy home? He is worried about being a dead beat father, which is really upsetting me since this woman did not ahve the decency to even tell him to avoid all these problems (11 years after the fact) we are emotionally going through now. It is rediculous, and I should have the right to sue for trying to break up a happy home. This is really not fair on the male or his wife. By the way, this woman knew how to get in contact with him all these years. My husband had agreed to take a paternity test without consulting me first, but I told him not to take it to let her pursue it legally since she waited all this time. I told her he would not be taking a test and the nerve of his after all these years. Clearly, she was not looking out for the child. She is looking out for herself in these financially difficult times. What is so ironic is that my husband doesn't even have a job now and has been looking for one. When he gets a job, he clearly is obligated to support his immediate family with his soon to be born child and our daughter. The audicity of this B**** coming years later to tell him this. This is crazy!

Wow. I am blown away by the lack of maturity I have seen here. There was a time when both men AND women took responsibility for their actions. There was a time when a babies life wasn't a CHOICE but a right. I sure wish I had been around to see it. I guess the basic human rights of children/babies don't matter anymore.

For the lady whose husband has a daughter they never knew about: How about accepting this child and welcoming her into your "happy home" with loving arms. Why don't you try to be the bigger person rather than put your wants over the needs of an 11 year old child, regardless of the mother's intentions. At least have the decency to "allow" your husband (or is he your child) the right to make his own decision regarding the paternity test. I mean, seriously, are you kidding me? That could be YOUR children's sibling!

BLEH! Society these days is made up of a bunch of whiners & crybabies, and the sad part is, like stated before, the children are the victims! Think about it and actually listen to yourselves. People in this country should have to be licensed to reproduce. Sad really.

I love this line…

“Guys usually aren't smart enough to be cautious and aware of girls like this and I really do feel bad for the poor men. Guys tend to live in the moment and worry about the other stuff later. ”

If they are not smart enough to be cautious, they shouldn’t be fooling around. Because a guy is stupid and doesn’t use a condom, he shouldn’t have to support an innocent baby? Start thinking like a man and you will worry about other stuff. Also, not all men are like you describe " otherwise we would have a bunch a fatherless children around.

I agree that the man should have equal rights " he should be part of the child’s life just like the mother and I believe unless he is unfit, he has every right as the mother. And he should be there for child as well. As far as the choices it is difficult if they have differences. However, if the father wants the child and the mother does not, the father could get custody and the mother will have to pay child support " how does that mean that the women always gets it their way?

This particular bozo seems like he wants no responsibility " not financially or otherwise.

And does anyone care about the innocent baby? Sounds like everyone is bitching and moaning that they can’t be free and here is there little baby that can’t fend for itself. Suck it up and be adults.

I agree littlewing. And I know a situation where this happened to a friend of mine. He was married with two little boys of his own. Then whammo " out of blue he gets a call from a long ago girlfriend " what he didn’t know was he was a daddy to a girl " a teenager by the way and now mommy was having difficulty with her and wanted daddy to take over. Instead of whining and complaining about the irresponsible mother, he and his wife took the girl in as part of their family. He knew it wasn’t the child’s fault and took responsibly for his actions over 15 years ago.

I agree, why is it that women can sLeep with a man knowing this person does not want chidren, get prenant and dont inform the person until its too late to do anything and bam! you have a situation where the man is going to court to support a child that cearly was unwanted.
There are also situations where the mother had multiple partners and has no idea who the father is, this should be her responsibility.
I am from the old school and believe these laws need to be changed just as you must give consent for another person to have sex with you, I believe there should be an agreement between both parties to have a part in the life of the child physically and financially. If the woman chooses to keep the child without the consent of the man then it should be her resposibility to parent that child. We live by too many double standards. There a few woman who make all woman fall into the catagory of entrappment believing getting pregnant will k eep that man with you, how very wrong!! You can lead a fish to water but you cant make him drink and in the long run you end up with someone who pays support but has no connection with the child and it is the child who ends up hurt not the person who made the choice alone.
Our laws need to change reguarding consent,support, and ones right to deceide. Entrapment is wrong in many ways, is anyone concerned about the future feeings of the child when years later they want to know why my father didnt want me, and later approach that person only to find out they were not wanted from the begining.
Our states allow anyone to be accused of anythingl , I thought that was the reason for our civil rights, but according to the paternnity and support laws we have no civil rights! I could say the President is the father of my children , knowing that is not true but the state will make him go through paternity testing anyway that is wrong wrong wrong!
If I as a consenting adult am in agreement with the act of sex then I should also be in aggreement with my partner not wanting children, If I dont agree to the act of intercourse with my partner and they continue the act against my will that is RAPE!!! and I get pregnant during the act of sex with my partner knowing they dont want children that is ENTRAPMENT! The laws are not geared up foe men and is definatly not equal, we must do something to put new laws in place that are equal and fair
MORNINGSTAR

Despite your wordy defense of the poor "trapped" man who must suffer the outrage of supporting an unwanted child because of his own free choice to take off his pants and shoot his baby-making semen inside a woman's vagina, you fail to understand that rights are accompanied by responsibility.