4
   

Should i move on?

 
 
Dime4
 
Reply Fri 14 Oct, 2016 08:20 pm
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 4 years soon. At first, we were very sure that we wanted to be together. We were so comfortable together and had regular sex. This was our senior year. When i left to go tt college everything was still fine regardless of the long distance ( 3 hours). The next year i left college while sse attended a college 30 minutes away and thats when things went downhill. She started hanging with more guys and even went out way more. She wont let me go out with her or invite me anywhere, shed rather do it with her friends. We started having sex less and she never wants it anymore or talks about it. She hasn't engaged in a sexy convo this year yet. We see each other 4 times a month for like 6 hours max. She's a busy person, but she makes time for others. SShe gets really defensive when i bring this stuff up. In the summer, she flew to another state to see a guy friend I've never met. She doesn't see anything wrong at all with what she does. She says she loves me and doesn't want a break but shows otherwise. What should i do? Give her a chance even go through its been going on since February or move on?
 
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Sat 15 Oct, 2016 06:35 am
@Dime4,
She's not ready or willing to be exclusive.

I' m sure she "loves" you - but that's not enough to hold all this together.

Tell her you are going to start dating others. Then do that.
Dime4
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Oct, 2016 09:13 am
@PUNKEY,
Even after 4 years i should just leave?
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Sat 15 Oct, 2016 09:43 am
@Dime4,
Why not move on?

It seems like she may still like/love you, but not be in love with you.

Maybe let her know that you're no longer interested in an exclusive relationship - have a discussion about that. If she doesn't want to go that route, find out how she sees an exclusive relationship working for both of you.

Don't assume you know how she sees the ground rules of an exclusive relationship. For many people, that means that both partners will continue to have important friendships with people of both genders.
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Sat 15 Oct, 2016 10:03 am
@Dime4,
Because next year you'll ask the same question except it'll be five years.

You don't have to stay.
Dime4
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Oct, 2016 11:30 am
@jespah,
I really do love her tho
Dime4
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Oct, 2016 11:32 am
@ehBeth,
I don't think guy friends are a issue, it's just when she left the state twice for him and refuses to let me meet this guy
0 Replies
 
Dime4
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Oct, 2016 11:34 am
@jespah,
She's been this way about a year now, do you think she's too far gone? She also doesn't put me on social media she will for her friends
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Oct, 2016 11:35 am
@Dime4,
You need to talk to her about all of this.

It seems like she's moved on from you - but you need to talk about all of this directly with her. No guessing.
Dime4
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Oct, 2016 11:46 am
@ehBeth,
I do always and she gets ddefense and tells me to give her time. I'm out of options
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Oct, 2016 12:02 pm
@Dime4,
Dime4 wrote:

I really do love her tho


ok then.
Next year (if she hasn't broken up with you) come back and present the same case, but add on a year.

Rinse, repeat.

If that's what you want, that's fine too.
0 Replies
 
 

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