angry because I was cheated and he keep cheating on me

Seems to me you need to stop worrying about how to make things better with him and start concentrating on yourself and finding a new job.

If the two of you have been breaking up every month for the last six years, then I think it might be time for you to acknowledge that this relationship is crappy and stop getting back together with him.

Sure you can. Although, if what you wrote is true about breaking up every month, then I don't think I would call what you have a relationship. I would call it a disaster.

Why? Why does your self confidence depend on somebody else?

Overall, it sounds to me as though you need time away from any relationship in order to concentrate on yourself and getting your life together.

"he is now numb made me feel i m not wanted sexually he mad me feel suck and now i m not talking to him"

Why would you even want to be near a guy like that?

Find someone who treats you better. You deserve that, right?

(Girl! your self esteem is SO low! Did he do that to you, or is that you telling yourself that you are no good? What happened at work to make you get fired?)

Well First off honey you should never let a man define who you are. There's so much more to this life then a relationship. If he can't appreciate at your worst then tell him go to hell because he doesn't deserve you at your best. If you have to keep breaking up its a clear sign that he is just using you as a play toy. My advice would be to let him be and just work on you. Someone who understands you and values your worth will come later, and show you what its like for someone to really love you.