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Sun 17 Jan, 2016 05:26 am
My ex girlfriend of a long distance relationship lasting just over a year, sent me a text last night. She asked for us to get back together.
She left pretty nastily and said she found someone else and acted so immature and had been for about a month that I really didn't understand who she was anymore. It was like she moved to another city and her whole personality changed too. Maybe to try to fit in with friends (which she has also had sex with after alcohol and taking drugs) If I got back together with her then I couldn't trust because while we were in a relationship she did that with her friends and changed her pictures on facebook to some sexual pictures (her pulling up her top and stuff) and she wanted to talk more with her friends than with me and she wanted to spend christmas and new year with them.
She got back together before but then told me that it was just because she was bored.
I know she's been having breakdowns now and then but honestly, I don't want to be sucked back into something that is toxic and just to cure her boredom so I need to know it is 100% real (she said that she want's it properly this time).
I do feel something for her but I want to know why she wants a relationship now and why she thinks I should trust her considering all that she has done. But maybe years from now I might look back and wish that I talked to her. I really don't know.
what do you think I should do?
@DanUK,
She isn't your problem. My suggestion is you keep it that way.
@roger,
I don't know, maybe you are right. I just don't want to regret the decision.
I don't know what to say to her to find out how she feels/ why she wants to get back together.
You seem clear about these things...
Quote:She left pretty nastily and said she found someone else and acted so immature
Quote:If I got back together with her then I couldn't trust
Quote:I don't want to be sucked back into something that is toxic and just to cure her boredom
Quote:But maybe years from now I might look back and wish that I talked to her.
But equally maybe weeks from now you might look back and wish that you hadn't talked to her.
Block her. Do not reply. Move on. You owe her nothing. You were not put on this planet to be a band-aid for people with inadequate or broken personalities.
@DanUK,
In a short time,
without her in your life, you'll find someone else that won't abuse your trust and fulfill your needs. She's playing on your sympathy so don't be manipulated. She is not going to change her toxic behavior, based on your on accounting of what she's done so far. She is someone that needs time to grow up...to stabilize. Really, perhaps some sort of counseling. But she'll have to pursue that on her own. Step out of her drama.
@DanUK,
You state that you don't know what to say her to find out why she wants you back. Based on what I read in your post, the answer to your question seems quite obvious. She probably wants you back because you are the flavor of the month. After she's done using you for a period of time, she'll move on to something else. She may end up getting back with you, then leave you, then get back with you again, then leave you again. At some point you will find out that you are just a space filler.
@DanUK,
Tes yeux noirs already said it. The way you phrased your post is telling enough: you only use negative connotations to describe her. In this entire post I read nothing positive about her(all you say is that you do feel something for her, which is as vague and non descriptive as you can possibly get, really), which could be a reason to go back to her. So if you can't come up with some, and then ask for an opinion, everybody (me included) is going to say to stay the hell away from her.
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