Cheating spouse

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My husband met a groupnofnoeople in his yoga class and became very friendly with a woman who works fornthebsame district in work for and I found a more than friendly text on his phone. He claimed they were just friends and agreed their friendship crossed the line but never had any physical contact. He told her it wasn't right he's married eye and they stopped texting. I confronted her at the gym and when I started reciting texts she then blurted out he's a great guy and we were just friends. My husband said he would still say hi to her and he even took some more yoga classes before I confronted her. Now that he knows we have had a few run ins he avoids the gym at the times she would be there. Am I to believe that they were just friends who were heading to an affair or do you think they actually had an affair? I just find it strange that she continues to work out when I do and he continued to go to the gym when she did until I started confronting her. Do you think it was what he claims or more? I've asked him plenty of times about physical contact and he swears none!

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@Annie825,

You'll have to take his word for it for now.
A spouse gets a certain amount of trust as compared to a boyfriend.
There's not enough proof there to blow up a marriage.

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@Annie825,

Annie825 wrote:

I confronted her at the gym

I'd have told your husband to leave you at this point.

It's one thing to discuss this with your husband, but you've stepped over the line as far as I'm concerned.

You have no evidence your husband cheated and you are now behaving badly.

Quote:

we have had a few run ins

Quote:

I started confronting her

If I were a real life friend of yours I'd tell you to smarten up and act like a grown-up.

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@Annie825,

To answer your question you need to listen carefully to their responses.
People usually speak the truth, but rarely do we hear it. Usually, we put our own interpretations on what they are saying.
For example. If you ask: Did you have any physical contact with that woman? and he answers something like: I swear I never laid a hand on her. As God is my witness I never touched her. Basically, if he says anything other than a direct No, I didn't touch her. The relationship was not physical then it SOUNDS like a denial but it IS NOT a denial.
If your question is answered by a question eg. Why would you even ask that? or a statement like You're crazy. I would never cheat on you. etc then again, it IS NOT a denial. It does not prove that he did touch this woman but it is indicative that he has something to hide.

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@Annie825,

I agree, your issue is with him, not her. Confronting and having multiple run in with her is childish and changes nothing. You're like the betrayed wife who blames the other woman and not the wandering husband.

Deal with your relationship with your husband and leave her out of it.

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@Tiger81,

Leave her "out' of it? Umm..she involved HERSELF when she decided to try to mess around with a married man.

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@Medusax,

No, your husband involved her. again, your issue is with him not her. She didn't try to mess with a married man, she did. And so what? She has no obligations to you. He does. Put the blame where it belongs.

You have no idea what he might have told her. "My marriage is dead" "My wife and I are just roommates" "I love her but I;m not in love with her".

1 Reply

@Tiger81,

It doesn't matter what he told her, she knew he was married. Men try that "roomate" crappola all the time when they want to stray. Be smart, have some decency, and respect other people's marriage. I can see by that response that you do not.

1 Reply

@Medusax,

You're right, I do not care about other's relationship's, that is between them. I also do not blame the other woman, when the man is the one cheating. 100% the man's decision.

I also don't judge people for the choices they make, I prefer to try and understand them.

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@Tiger81,

Sorry, I don't understand doing something that I know will cause hurt and trouble for another person, and I never will.

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@Medusax,

There is no evidence that the woman at the gym messed around with anyone.

The only person we know for sure (based on the OP) that behaved badly was the OP.

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I wonder why this woman and her husband don't change gyms.

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@PUNKEY,

I think she likes he drama of being the martyr and confronting that evil conniving scheming b!tch who tried to steal her poor innocent husband away

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@Annie825,

Join the yoga class too & go to the things they go to. I am in same situation w my cheating husband. He has been *very* flirty friendly texting,& become SUPER friendly (a very deep emotional I really hope its not physical yet affair) putting me down to a woman in his running/beer drinking (its called hash harriers) group. Now I try to go to these events too, despite it means I have to pay for a babysitter (usually I am at home with our young son but that is ""boring & stupid"(she is divorced & has lots of time without her kids). BUT go be present & "friendly" to her. Confronting her is not going to do anything but make you look bad & have him side with her. Show her you are better & a bigger person than she is.

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@Annie825,

Good for you! The Lioness protecting her den.

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@Annie825,

sounds like it may have been an emotional affair only since u steped in it most likely was not a physical affair

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@Annie825,

Put a hidden camera in the house or tracker on his phone then you will know

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I'm exhausted just reading this.

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@glitterbag,

And all these opinions two to five years after the OP

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@glitterbag,

Quote:

I'm exhausted just reading this.

May I suggest that you lie down?

And Roger don't ruin this with your easy charm.

1 Reply

Cheating spouse

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