Should I Acknowledge the Obvious Rejection?

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So I invited this girl that I had gotten a chance to know through our mutual college class to go hiking on a particular day that I know she would have been available and I got the "i'll let you know" answer from her. Obviously I was not feeling good about my chances afterwards and needless to say I did not hear back from her on the day I proposed this activity.

Obviously I know I got shut down in a polite manner but my question is should I bring this up to her or just pretend this never happened by not acknowledging it?

I can't avoid this person even if I wanted to since we work together and have been studying together since we are also taking the same class together at college. I would not bring this up in a confrontational manner or anything it would just be in a casual joking manner. However I would not want to make the awkward situation even worse by putting her in a potential tough spot. Any thoughts or suggestions on what I should do?

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@marcuslarcus,

Isn't this the same lady as you asked about here?
http://able2know.org/topic/299978-1#post-6058654

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@Ragman,

Correct, I knew the obvious risks involved considering our situation but I decided to take the shot and now I have to pick up the pieces if you will.
Definitely would like to keep this friendship going since they are a great person I would just would like to know what the best way of going about this would be.

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@marcuslarcus,

What could possibly be gained by mentioning it?

Hi Nicole (or whatever her name is), you were a jerk to me and stood me up, remember?

Or some variant thereof.

Will you be pals again? Maybe, maybe not, but it won't help if you dwell on this.

1 Reply

@jespah,

Assuming I was going to acknowledge it, I would have just said something along the lines of "What happened Thursday? "(the day we were supposed to meet up) and just make a joke about how I was there waiting at that spot all day. While it may not come across the same in text it would have been in a joking / playful type of manner when I brought it up.

While ultimately guys have the most to loose when they approach a girl I am sure its not a comfortable situation for the girl either specially if you have to deal with constantly seeing the person. So I suppose you are correct in that regard that it would probably just make things worse by even bringing it up and just put a further strain on the relationship.

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@marcuslarcus,

Quote:

should I bring this up to her or just pretend this never happened by not acknowledging it?

You need to absolutely pretend nothing happened.

Quote:

Any thoughts or suggestions on what I should do?

As above. Do not become a pest by badgering her. Bringing up the matter in what you call a "casual joking manner" has the likelihood of being deeply embarrassing and awkward and could even be interpreted as passive-aggressive. You need to drop the hiking trip thing completely.

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@marcuslarcus,

I wouldn't suggest to attempt to make a joke about it. I'd suggest before you did so, to read up on passive-aggressive behavior.

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@marcuslarcus,

She didn't let you know and you didn't call her to check if she could go, waiting and suffering apparent rejection, then feeling miserably rejected?

You overthink.

She may have a lot going on in her life.
She might have not taken it as some kind of for sure Date.
Her letting you know would have been thoughtful, but she also may have figured that you would get it wasn't happening as she didn't confirm.
She might not be all excited about going out with you. This happens.
We don't know what she thinks.

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@Tes yeux noirs,

Point taken, I did see her at work since this has happened and prior to me eventually coming up to her to talk about work related stuff I definitely got the vibe that she was just avoiding any interaction with me. It could just be in my head but I feel like she knew exactly what the situation was and as a result made an effort by not acknowledging me in any way until I eventually came up to her.

When you say it has the potential to be embarrassing and awkward do mean for her or for me?

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@ossobuco,

That's possible but its not like this was arranged a week in advance or something. When we meet up to study and I asked her it was Wednesday so the plans where for the following day and we just left it as that she would let me know so at no point did I feel the need to hound her about it the following day since it was pretty clear who would be deciding what.

Plus I feel like if she truly did want to go I either would have gotten a straight answer when I initially asked or I would have heard back from her the following day to reschedule or something. Point being while I wish I was overthinking this she has my number therefore she could have let me know at some point.

1 Reply

@marcuslarcus,

Quote:

When you say it has the potential to be embarrassing and awkward do mean for her or for me?

Well, for her, certainly, and possibly for you, unless you are a kind of person who does not feel, or understand about, embarrassment (spectrum?). Inflicting embarrassment on her by "casually joking" about the non-date that didn't happen could be seen as creepy and stalkerishly persistent. I am worried that you don't appear to get this.

1 Reply

@marcuslarcus,

Quote:

if she truly did want to go I either would have gotten a straight answer when I initially asked or I would have heard back from her the following day to reschedule or something.

Absolutely.

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@Tes yeux noirs,

I do understand what you're saying, this is not my first rodeo so I have learned from past mistakes in which I probably came across exactly as how you're saying I would look and learned how to take a hint. It's just this particular scenario is totally new to me so I am possibly just overthinking this and considering an approach that as you mentioned could put me in a negative light and in a subsequently worse situation.

I do appreciate your advice, I believe its the best choice to just keep things moving and avoid any type of dialogue that would put either party in that awkward and embarrassing spot.

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Should I Acknowledge the Obvious Rejection?

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