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Will he come back to me?!

 
 
Reply Thu 21 May, 2015 12:11 am
Hello Chris,
My boyfriend of 10 months just broke up with me five nights ago. I was utterly devastated. He literally told me that morning (after we made up from a fight) “I really mean it when I say I want to marry you” then he kissed me passionately saying “A kiss has never felt this way before”. In our relationship he would always talk about how much he wants to marry me. Even his mom and dad knew. I would always tell him “Lets not start thinking about that until we’ve been together for awhile longer”. Anyways, when he said those words, “I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore” I didn’t accept it. Not one bit. I was at his house from 11-3:30 a.m begging him not to end us! I now know that was a huge mistake on my part because it made be look pathetic and well… thats not desirable at all. We’ve had our fair share of fights and sometimes I would get so mad that I would say it’s over between us. Obviously I never meant it but he would always freak out saying “don’t give up on us!!”. Yet he goes and does this? I even said that same exact thing, ” don’t give up on us”. Nothing I did could his mind. When he ended it I was crying none stop and he would occasionally cry as well and hug me. He said he has never been this honest before not even with himself. He told me wasn’t happy anymore (because we were always fighting I’m sure) and that he should have done it awhile ago. He said he hasn’t not been in a relationship and he just wants to focus on himself, like work, school etc. I asked him if I should delete all the pictures of us on my phone & insta because when he broke up with his last gf he did that. He deleted every single picture he had of her and blocked her on everything! He didn’t want anything to do with her. But he told me no. Then he says to me “Honestly Cheyenne, I wouldn’t be surprised if I came back to you”. What does that even mean? When I finally came to the realization that it was over & left his house and he told me to text him when I got home so he knew that I was safe. I told him “I’m home” & he replies with “I love you” & I say “you’re so cruel”. The next day he sends me a “good morning” text and we talked briefly then he stopped replying to my texts. I left it alone… for a bit. I ended up showing up at his house two days after to talk things through because surely he didn’t mean it when he ended us. He told me he wasn’t going to change his mind and that I should just leave. I started to text him relentlessly (I know, huge mistake) and he blocked me on his phone. Now that you know what happened, I have a question and that question is, will he come back to me? Another thing you should know is that back in December I got kicked out of a University Prep School, because I wasn’t doing my work and my grades slipped. He felt horrible and that it was his fault that i got kicked out of school because he couldn’t leave me alone, we were always together. And of course it didn’t help when my family even told him it was his fault. I now go to a different school and thursday (day before breakup) I told him that I have a lot of work to do by next friday, and if I don’t finish all of it, I won’t graduate. He knew I had a lot of work to do and knew I still wasn’t doing it because we were always together. Is he just giving me this time so I can do my work so I can actually graduate? Because I know he would never be able to forgive himself if I didn’t. Then he will come back to me? After all why would he say ” i mean it when I say I want to marry you” and then tell me “I love you” after dumping me and that he wouldn’t be surprised if he came back to me. You may be thinking, well if that were the case then he would have suggested a break instead of ending it. We’ve tried having breaks. We can go through with it and he even said he can’t go more than a day without seeing me.
 
CoastalRat
 
  3  
Reply Thu 21 May, 2015 05:37 am
@chey1996,
Quote:
I have a question and that question is, will he come back to me?
We have no way of knowing the answer to this question anymore than you do.

His telling you "I love you" after breaking up with you can be explained easily enough. He is basically telling you that he still cares, he still has feelings for you. Heck, I've been married for almost 33 years and I still "love" a woman I dated for a while back before I met my wife.

For whatever reason, he does not want to be in a relationship right now. Any whining or crying or chasing after him by you is not going to convince him to change his mind, as evidenced by the fact that he blocked you after you would not leave him alone. So try leaving him alone. Go on with your life. Go out with friends. Finish school. Date. If he contacts you and wants to see you, and you still want to see him, then great. But otherwise, remember the good times with him and know that there will be someone out there who will want to have a long term relationship with you without your having to beg and plead to stick around.


0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 May, 2015 05:41 am
This guy sounds really passive-aggressive. Then again, the entire relationship sounds like that.

He did and didn't do you a favor, easing off in time for you to study. Because he also created this obsession in your mind.

Either way, cut the crap, stop making this your #1 focus and do the work so that you can graduate.

Then deal. It is FAR more important for you to graduate than for you to chase after his vague promises of happily ever after.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 May, 2015 05:44 am
This guy is one passive-aggressive creep. He's all drama and all self.

YOU let your school life suffer because you revolved around him. Now that he sees just how much you want to sacrifice for him, he's bored. He's already thinking "Next?"

10 months is not a long time, but long enough to see him for what he is.

Get back to your schoolwork and pull yourself together.

No, he's not going to come back. He's probably already stalking his next new conquest.

Tough lessons to learn, but you might as well learn now.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 May, 2015 06:02 am
@chey1996,
He's the male version of a cock tease. He's jerking you around. He elevates himself by attempting to control you. Don't cooperate anymore.

Why would you ever want this guy back in your life? Even before the breakup you had a really damaged self esteem. You allowed yourself to become his victim and he manipulated you. Bad combination.

He's very toxic. Sorry to write this...but you're very needy. You've put off doing your studying and work but also allowed this emotional breakup to interfere with your career goals. Stop responding to the obsession you have with this relationship. It's over and the sooner you move on, the better your life should be.

Why not re-dedicate your energy and time to making your self immune to players like this. Graduate and establish your career and become a success. Be independent of manipulators like him. Remember your good qualities and understand your worth. Don't let this temporary breakup slow you down.

Nothing gets even better than becoming a success and being happy with yourself.
0 Replies
 
Eliusa
 
  0  
Reply Thu 21 May, 2015 10:17 am
@chey1996,
He probably got tired of fighting.
What were you fighting about that often?
Was it your fault mostly?
Are you out of control hysterical person?
0 Replies
 
 

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