@nikki929,
Right now, today, make reservations at a nice place nearby. An inn, maybe, or a B & B. Plan to go alone. Or call your folks and tell them you're visiting. Tell him nothing of your plans. In fact, tell as few people as possible - just your folks (whether you're staying with them or not) and maybe one trusted girlfriend, but that's it. No one else. Make sure anyone you tell will swear up and down that they will not tell him where you are going although, if he asks, that they will tell him you are physically okay.
Make the plans for a week from today or for this weekend, whichever works out for your schedule or your budget. This doesn't have to be Aruba. It can just be a hotel in a section of your city that you've never been to before.
On the day you are leaving, go to his home. Tell him this –
"I'm sorry, but this isn't working out. It's over."
Tell him in person, and say nothing else, and for God's sake don't apologize. Then leave. Don't let him hug you, don't let him beg, don't let him do anything.
Just go. Then park 2 blocks from his home and block him on all forms of social media if you have not already done so.
And go on your short vacation (I am talking no more than 3 days). Turn off social media or, at the very least (
absolute minimum) turn off location tracking. You want to fall off the face of the earth for a few days or so.
Enjoy your time off. Take pictures. Stay up and watch movies he doesn't like. Eat ice cream. Read a bunch of books you've been meaning to get to. Go to an art museum or do whatever it is you like. I strongly suggest going alone because so few women do that these days. Go and rediscover yourself. This is not the time for you to complain to your friends about him, or even to scout out other guys. It's more like, take in a show or go to a convention and cosplay as Black Widow for all I care. Do what you, nikki929, love to do. This vacation is for you, and you alone.
When you return, I bet he'll have been frantic, claiming he was concerned for your safety. That's a load of bullshit. He would be more concerned about you leaving him (this is why I'm saying you need to tell your folks, because they will know you're okay and that will deflate this).
If someone screws up and tells him where you've gone to, then either he'll be mad that you left without him (which might make the breakup easier for him) or will try to follow you. If he does, you can always tell him (again!), that it's over and he's ruining your good time. Period. Sometimes people back you into a corner and make it so that you have to be the bitch. So do it! If that breaks everything for good, then that does it.
Be strong. You are not responsible for his actions, even if he plays the guilt card and threatens suicide or any such nonsense.
You are not his keeper or his caregiver.
You are allowed to live apart from him. You are allowed to close this chapter in your story.
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