What should I do now?

Forums: Relationships
Email this Topic • Print this Page

I met a guy online and we started talking so nice and he loved my pictures and so interested to meet me. He said I want a long term relationship that ends to marriage! After a while we dated and saw each other outside. He was a nice guy and I like him. He said I like you more than your pictures. We continued talking and I told him I like him very much. A week later I found out he doesn't pay attention to me like before. So I asked him what's wrong and he said that he doesnt want to marry me and only he can have a relationship, because he thinks we will have problem in the future and also Because he likes me and don't want to lose me as a friend in his life so he told me please be my friend always. Later I found out that he doesn't like my nose and I asked him should I operate my nose? He said very polite : "its your decision and your wish but my opinion is yes, you should."
I broke up with him but again I called him.
However I have a good confident but I cried for one day and started searching for doctors.
My nose is just a little big from side. I feel so bad that such a polite and nice guy cares about his partner's appearance so much. I look good and beautiful and nice body but only my nose.
Now he recently asked me to have sex relationship and he said that he loves my body and wants to have sex with me and also let's not fall in love with each other.
I told him I can not have sex relationship without love and only if we love each other this will happen. I asked him do you think this can happen? He said maybe yes.
I am really confused and don't know what to do with this relationship. We like each other and I want to be with him not as a friend. I am a very emotional person.

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 734 • Replies: 8

@Jessicaa123,

His attitude troubles me.

This is a decision you should make from a distance.

0 Replies

@Jessicaa123,

My sympathy to you for this situation. Based on what you wrote my advice is that you need to put this whole thing behind you...SOON. This person has no concern for you. He seems like a user and doesn't have your needs in mind.

Out of curiosity, how do your parents or friends feel about him and this relationship?

Old person/parent lecture:
You need to understand what real relationships are. If you've never had a thought about having your nose operated on, why allow his opinion to change your mind? It sounds as though you'd be doing it for him. What sort of sacrifice is he doing for you? He said that doesn't even want a full relationship. In a short while, he will drift away when you tell him that you don't want a sexual relationship.

Clearly that isn't what you want, so show him the door.

I hope that IF you ever decide you want to have your nose altered, it's what YOU want. However, there's nothing you said that you ever considered it before.

In the future, when you start to date, have fun...and don't get so serious so soon. Don't start discussing marriage possibilities ...especially in the beginning.

1 Reply

@Ragman,

From my perspective, if someone asked me to have surgery to make myself more appealing to them, I'd be looking for a surgeon to cut that idiot out of my life. Surgery involves anesthesia, and although most surgery is successful, anything can happen. I would not risk my health for some shallow guy who won't be around very long, and you will probably tire of.

Please get rid of this guy.

0 Replies

@Jessicaa123,

On-line dating is very, very tricky. There are very few that are honestly looking for marriage. For the most part they have baggage and are looking for a non-serious friendship with benefits and then in the back of their mind, "if" they find the one they will then turn it into something more. Then there are players, purely and simply there to push buttons of emotions after all they expect the woman to be weak, vulnerable, searching for real love. They know the words to state to "get them" where they want them and then there are the real guys honestly wanting love but have no idea how to show it, or act and lastly a small percentage that truly know what they want.

As others have stated this is not someone you want in your life full stop. He is playing on your emotions to get what he wants "sex". "Maybe" always means no in their world.

You stated you are beautiful, then embrace that and don't listen to some idiot that loves your body and wants sex without looking at your face because he thinks your nose is wrong. Seriously? You saw that red flag, you should have laughed at him and told him you are beautiful he's an idiot.

Some players think that by putting down a feature of yours that you will do anything to win that person, in comes sex.

Don't fall for tricks.

Remember, you are beautiful and even if lonely, make sure the guy you date in reality is worthy of you.

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

I agree with Found Soul and want to add one more thing. You can be more lonely with a man like the one you describe than if you are actually on your own. My first husband was a nightmare, and although I hated the idea of divorce, when I finally left a calm settled over me. I was finally in charge of my future. Please don't fall for the utter bullshit that you are not worthy of this ass hats attention.

0 Replies

At first I Thank you everyone for your precious and helpful comments. I did not introduce him to my family because I wanted to know him more and better.

I knew if my family know that, they won't like that I meet him again.
I should add that before we date in real, he used to talk about his family and their life story.
He showed so much interest those first days of meeting and I gave him lots of love. Maybe I was wrong and scared him.
However I feel really better after reading your opinions about it.

1 Reply

@Jessicaa123,

I think you were just momentarily attracted, this happens to almost everybody. But I think you should imagine what your family would think if they knew he was urging you to have cosmetic surgery to please him. He may have said it in a fashion that appeared polite, but it was anything but. My Dad died years ago, but I know he would be furious if a young man suggested such a thing. I'll bet your family would be as well. Please don't pretend he's perfect and mislead your family. Your family wants the best for you, you shouldn't settle for a 4th rate guy.

1 Reply

@glitterbag,

Yes, I agree with you. I am really upset these days but will try my best to leave him and forget him.

0 Replies

What should I do now?

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know